Progressive Insanities of Bakura
by darkshadow-23
Summary: A Bakura's Journal story! See Bakura slowly getting more and more insane! Chapter 19, Entry 18. After Bakura marries a wall he wants a divorce! WHY? THEY WERE SO CUTE TOGETHER! sobs Marik the karaoke king will save us!
1. Entry 1: Lloyd

Meh?! Yup new story! Humour again. I know, I know! Everything I write is humour! I CAN'T HELP IT!!!  
  
I decided to write this because I read two stories about Bakura writing in his journal and one story on Bakura's point of view and I liked the way Bakura thinks! So that's why I'm writing this! Bakura would be very out of character but that's the way it goes!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!  
  
~  
  
Pft! My hikari told me to write shit about my day! He said something about not talking to him enough and should write the events of my day so he can 'get to know me better'.  
  
And they say I'M insane!  
  
I'm the infamous Tomb Robber! WHAT'S MORE TO KNOW!!! But he forced me! He threatened not to feed me anymore! DAMN HIM!  
  
But hah! What he doesn't know is that I'm writing this in half Japanese and half Egyptian! SEE IF HE CAN TRANSLATE THAT!!!  
  
The 'phone' starts ringing.  
  
Ring.  
  
Ring.  
  
Ring.  
  
Ring.  
  
Ring.  
  
Ring.  
  
Ring.  
  
Ring.  
  
Ring.  
  
Ring.  
  
Ring.  
  
Ring.  
  
Ring.  
  
Ring.  
  
Ring.  
  
PATHETIC MACHINE! PRPARE TO BE BANISHED TO THE SHADOW REALM!!!!  
  
But then the machine picks up. RYOU'S CALLING!!!  
  
I'm not excited.  
  
I don't care if my weak, pathetic hikari is calling. Not a bit.  
  
What the hell? I have to pick him up at school?!  
  
An accident . . . He was playing soccer and he hit the principal. Hah. My hikari's learning.  
  
Great. I have to walk. If I get tired I'm going to sue you Ryou! Hey that rhymed.  
  
-  
  
HEY! WHO THE HELL LEAVE THIS BALL JUST LYING HERE?!?  
  
HOLY CRAP!!! I'm looking down at the most beautiful ball in the universe. It's dark blue with pretty yellow stars and a sparkly moon!! MINE NOW!! MUHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!  
  
Suddenly a stupid kid comes up to me. About 5 with reddish brown wavy hair and some freckles on his cheeks.  
  
What? This is YOUR ball? Even better! Why? BECAUSE I'M THE KING OF THIEVES AND NOW THIS BALL IS MINE!! MUHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
The kid pouts. He reminds me of Ryou . . . IS HE TRYING TO OUT POUT RYOU?!?!? THAT LITTLE TWERP!!!!  
  
Ryou just stepped out of a car.  
  
So being the great yami that I am, I wave at him and smile.  
  
Huh? Why am I strangling an innocent child?  
  
I'm not strangling him! We're just having a friendly interacting between two living organisms! ^__^  
  
-  
  
Nope, Ryou didn't fall for it. And I used all sorts of hard words too!  
  
Oh well! The ball's mine anyways!  
  
I love my new ball! I'm going to name you Lloyd!  
  
. . .  
  
No! I still love you Journal! It's not like that!  
  
. . .  
  
What are you talking about Lloyd! I can love you both!  
  
I LOVE YOU BOTH!!  
  
Ryou's staring at me like I'm insane. Well duh! Of course I'm insane!  
  
Holy shit. The Pharaoh's here! His slave is driving. I'm surprised he can reach the pedal.  
  
Pft. The Pharaoh says that he had a late growth sprout and had grown a lot.  
  
Well . . . he is as tall as Ryou now . . .  
  
The stupid Pharaoh is laughing at me because I love my Lloyd and my wonderful Journal.  
  
WELL AT LEAST THEY LOVE ME BACK!!! He's just jealous! Lloyd and my Journal don't love him now does he!  
  
. . .  
  
What did you say?! YOU PATHETIC JOURNAL! YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME!!  
  
. . .  
  
Its okay Journal, we accept your apology.  
  
What? YOU NEVER SEEN A 3000 YEAR OLD SPIRIT STROKE HIS JOURNAL LOVINGLY BEFORE?!?!?!? WELL YOU'RE MISSING A LOT!!!!  
  
Stupid Pharaoh. Stupid slave. Stupid Ryou.  
  
Now Journal, you have to be a good big boy and let Lloyd share a space on the desk with you.  
  
. . .  
  
See how good your big Journal is too you Lloyd?  
  
The Pharaoh, his slave and Ryou is talking about something.  
  
WHAT?!?! NO! DON'T TAKE LLOYD AWAY!!! I DIDN'T STEAL HIM!!  
  
SHUT UP YOU STUPID PHARAOH! LLOYD'S A 'HE' NOT AN 'IT'!!!! HAVE YOU NO HEART?!?!  
  
NNNOOOOO!! LLOYD!!! The stupid Pharaoh is trying to chuck Lloyd out the window! NO! HELP ME RYOU!!!  
  
DON'T WORRY LLOYD! JOURNAL WILL SAVE YOU!!! So I chuck you at the Pharaoh! See! My Journal is so smart! It hurts the Pharaoh and flies right back to me!! Hah!  
  
NO! LLOYD! THE SLAVE'S GOT HIM!!  
  
Hah. We almost died because the slave forgot he was driving. Idiot.  
  
I have my sweet Lloyd back! IN YOUR FACE!!  
  
I'm not cowering behind Ryou you pathetic Pharaoh!!  
  
I'm just twitching pathetically behind my hikari! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO YOUR HIKARI!  
  
There. Now the Pharaoh is ignoring me! He must be touched by my speech and is thinking this over! And then he'd be so thankful he's give me his Puzzle!  
  
I'm bored! Does it take THIS long to drive to Ryou's house?  
  
Let's sing a song! I KNOWA SONG DAT GETZ ON EVERYONEZ NEEEEERVEZ!! EVERYONEZ NERVEZ!!! EVERYONEZ NEEEEEEEEERRRRRRVVVEEZZZ!! AND DIS IS HOW IT GOOOOOEEEEZZZZZ!!!! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! I KNOWA SONG DAT GETZ ON EVERYONEZ NEEEEEEEERRRRRRVVVEEZZZZ AND DIS IS HHHOOOWWW IIITTTT GGGOOEZZZZ!!  
  
Hey! We're home! The car stopped.  
  
Wait. We aren't at Ryou's house! What the hell?!  
  
The idiot of a Pharaoh just shoved me out of the car!  
  
NO! RYOU! COME BACK!!!  
  
Crap! How am I going to get back to Ryou's house?!  
  
NO! THE HOMELESS PEOPLE WILL EAT ME!!!!  
  
. . .  
  
Don't be afraid Lloyd! If I was to be roasted Journal will protect you! Won't you Journal?  
  
. . .  
  
I'm hungry.  
  
. . .  
  
No Journal I'm not looking at you hungrily. I'm not drooling. Of course not. Nope.  
  
I WANT MY HIKARI BACK! No, no. I still love you Lloyd! I just want to go home!  
  
OH! The slave's car is back! RYOU HAS COME BACK FOR ME!!  
  
Okay! I promise that I'll stop being annoying!  
  
Ryou asks me why I'm on the other side of the road and why there are cars on fire.  
  
Hm. How'd that happen? Stop looking at me Pharaoh! I seriously don't know!  
  
~  
  
Gah! This stinks! Yesterday when I got the idea it sounded better! Oh well . . . I don't care if it's crap -_-;  
  
I need ideas. Please review. What should Bakura do one the next chapter?  
  
I should really plan ahead to my stories!  
  
And I don't know anyone names Lloyd. I just needed a name. And I remember watching a cartoon with a creepy looking alien named Lloyd . . . forgot how he looks like and what the show was called though! But he's an alien . . . meaning he lives it space, meaning the stars and the moon! So there. Hah.  
  
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\/ REVIEW!! 


	2. Entry 2: Marik

Unbelievable. Some people actually read this fic. What's even more unbelievable is that some people actually reviewed. And the most unbelievable thing is that some people actually LIKED this fic! Well thanks for the reviews! I forgot to mention last chapter that I only answer reviews with questions in them or if I want to ask you a question or something . . . Because sometimes I have nothing to say . . . so . . . yeah . . . So if you want me to answer to your review you don't HAVE to ask a question . . . just like . . . 'What's your penname again?' or '___?' I'll even answer to that as long as there is a question mark some where in the review! You can just review with '?' and I'll answer!  
  
So, here are the reviews I'm answering:  
  
Goddess of Anime: Meh? How long HAVE you been like that *is suspicious*  
  
Life's Light/anime*angel: STUPID FANFICTION! THEY DID THAT TO NO SANITY ALLOWED TOO! I bet they deleted our stories because we made fun of fanfic!! I honestly can't find anything wrong in the rules -_-;  
  
Goddess-of-da-Cheeseburgers: One question: Where did you get the Chicken Plushie? Because I need to buy one. I can't tell you the reason because Life's Light/anime*angel might be reading this right now . . . TELL ME!!! Yes! It's Lloyd in Space! I can't believe I forgot that -_-; probably because the name is so exciting . . . HAH! I don't have to say that I don't own it because he's not in the story! Just his name! HAHAHAHAHAHHAA! So I'm not stealing the character, I'm using just using the name!  
  
Ryou Bakura Obsessor: HEY! Did your penname used to be Rayne? I read your bio . . . Um . . . yeah . . . I would say 'keep dreaming' but then you'll kill me . . .  
  
Dreammaster2411: You should read Ryou Bakura Obsessor's bio . . .  
  
Syra Lebru: Yeah I upped the rating! (I think O.o;) I didn't intend it to have swearing in it . . . but it did . . . Yes . . . squirrels . . . there are very heavy (fat . . .) squirrels where I live! Or are all squirrels big like that?!  
  
Sparklypiggy: I'm not sure about Yami Marik but Marik would probably be in here! HEY! Marik isn't in my spell-check! Marik's a word?  
  
Sharpie Marker 666: I don't know why I choose Lloyd as the ball's name . . . but I did! I've only watched the show 4 times when I was really bored a long time ago . . . I remember a mole monster, him and his friend falling into a worm hole and into a dumpster . . . and Lloyd being sad on his school bus . . . and a mutant dog. That's it!  
  
See! I almost answered to ALL the reviews! Except . . . 2 . . . I think . . . I CAN COUNT!  
  
Also about my best story 'No Sanity Allowed' it has been deleted my fanfiction.net for some reason that I don't know what . . . I e-mailed them and if they don't get it back in about 3 weeks then I'll re-write all the chapters (so it would be more funny) and re-post it! So it's a win-win situation! Please check my bio and my site darkshadow-23.cjb.net for more details!  
  
Also, I don't watch 'Passions' my brother does O.o; I'm not a soap opera- ish person. I like the theme song though! ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Passions, or Glitter Glue  
  
~  
  
See Journal? I told you that I didn't want to eat you! Ryou bought me T.V. dinners so I can watch T.V. and eat dinner at the exact same time! ISN'T THAT AMAZING?!  
  
Ryou bought us sparkly stars and Glitter Glue today! ^__^ Now I can make Lloyd much prettier and decorate you Journal!  
  
You like rainbow bunnies don't you Journal? Don't you!  
  
Ryou just walked in! Do you like my pretty picture Ryou?  
  
You like my picture of a fuzzy football on top of a pair of shorts?!  
  
IT'S A BUNNY! I HATE YOU RYOU! I HATE YOU!!!  
  
Stupid wimpy Hikari running away crying because of a few harsh words . . . and chairs . . . and encyclopaedias . . . and bricks . . . and knives . . .  
  
Yes Journal, I DO have encyclopaedias for your information!  
  
. . .  
  
Don't be mad at Ryou! He doesn't know anything about true artwork! My bunny is the most beautiful thing in the world!  
  
. . .  
  
Besides you and Lloyd of course!  
  
Hey it's 2:00pm! Passions is on! ^__^ - I mean Ryou's stupid show that he makes me watch all the time is on . . . Lloyd you've never watched this show have you! Let's go! It's so gre- horrible.  
  
But Ryou will make you watch it or you'll get kicked out of the house!  
  
-  
  
What Ryou? I HAVE to stay and watch the show? Oh fine! For you. Lloyd and Journal also HAS to watch? Fine, fine only because you're my Hikari! What? I can steal the Pharaoh's Puzzle AND you'll let me rob anyone I want? And you're going to cook my more food? And I can kill and send anyone to the Shadow Realm if I want to? Thanks Ryou! ^_^  
  
Grrrr! The doorbell is ringing like nuts! WHOEVER IS DOING THAT I'M SO GOING TO KILL HIM!!  
  
Oh never mind it's Marik! Oh Isis is FORCING you to watch 'Passions' too? I know! Some people can be so mean!  
  
Now my friend Marik is a very sophisticated person! He says he likes my bunny! ^__^  
  
And he loves my Lloyd too! See how great Marik can be? Not like stupid Ryou . . .  
  
-  
  
Marik and I are in really big trouble! We smashed the T.V.! Ryou's going to be so mad . . .  
  
What Ryou? What we did was right? Yeah! I know! HE SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT TO HER!!! THAT BASTARD!!!  
  
Poor, poor Marik! He's crying because of that! Now he's worried that Ryou will tell Isis and he'd have to pay for the smashed T.V.  
  
Don't worry Marik; didn't you JUST hear what Ryou said? What we did was right! Right Ryou?  
  
Who am I talking to? Ryou of course dummy! He's standing RIGHT there! Duh.  
  
Uh oh. Ryou just walked into the house. How'd you do that Ryou? Weren't you standing behind the couch a second ago saying that you would help us destroy the Pharaoh and his little slave?  
  
Don't pretend you forgot Ryou! And YOU said we could smash the T.V.! It was the people inside's it's fault! We wanted to open the T.V. to get the guy!  
  
What are you talking about? Of course you watch 'Passions'! You force me, Journal, Lloyd and Marik to watch it with you all the time!  
  
STOP LYING! You did NOT go to the hospital to stitch up the wounds I created buy chucking stuff at you! I only threw insults not objects!  
  
Marik, you are as crazy as the Pharaoh! I'm NOT cowering behind you pathetically! I'm NOT afraid of my wimpy Hikari!  
  
EEP! No Ryou! I didn't call you wimpy! REALLY! Don't look at me like that!  
  
You're calling Isis? Hah! If I'm going down Marik's coming with me!  
  
Actually it's true Hikari, you DID say that you weren't going to call that Isis and you are going to make us hot fudge sundaes!  
  
Don't look at us like that! Lloyd and Journal are our witnesses aren't you?  
  
. . .  
  
See! I told you! It's four against one Ryou! YES Marik I can count!  
  
Here Marik, don't cry! You can hold Lloyd! He always makes me feel better! See the pretty sparkles on the moon and stars? I did that! Lloyd's previous owner was so abusive! HE KICKED LLOYD! And bounced him!! It's barbaric! That kid was a Barbarian!  
  
What's a Barbarian? They are the group from Scandinavia that conquered the unbeatable Romans that just wanted protection from the Huns.  
  
Yes Marik, the Huns were from Asia and were great riders, they had horses and were very ruthless!  
  
Why are you staring at us like that Ryou? I actually USE those encyclopaedias other that chucking them at you!  
  
No! I didn't just admit that I chuck things at you!  
  
Marik, I want Lloyd back now. Seriously Marik! Give Lloyd back! LLOYD'S MINE! HE LOVES ME NOT YOU!!!  
  
Yes I have Journal but I also need Lloyd! GIVE HIM BACK! LLOYD!!!  
  
Talk to him Marik! Ask him how much he loves me! LLOYD! COME BACK LLOYD!  
  
RYOU! HE'S TALKING ISIS!! Fine! I don't need you!  
  
Hah! I TOLD you Lloyd loves me best! NNNAAAAHHHH! Loser!  
  
Fine, you can play with Lloyd . . . as long as you know that Lloyd LOVES ME and not YOU!  
  
Don't throw him that high Marik! Lloyd's just a kid he can get hurt!  
  
Not a goat's young! A child you dolt!  
  
Of COURSE I knew 'kid' means goats' young Ryou! I'm not stupid.  
  
Hah. Ryou is amazed at my incredible smartness. I'm so smart that he doesn't realize that I have been reading is mind to get all this smart information out! Not that my Hikari is smart or anything!  
  
Isis here, she's here to take Marik away and she's 'disappointed' in him. We both shudder at the word 'disappointed' of course. It's the worse feeling to have!  
  
The last time Ryou was 'disappointed' in me he didn't talk to me for 3 months. At least when he's mad he would yell!  
  
Marik is crying again. Pleading to Isis so she would forgive him. What an idiot! Unlike him I would never do such an un-manly thing!  
  
No Ryou! Don't be 'disappointed' too! I'm so sorry! At least be mad! Come back Ryou! I'm sorry! Shut up Journal! I'm NOT crying! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I HATE YOU! SHUT UP!  
  
Ryou's back! He's worried about me. See Marik, my Hikari would never just forget about me would you Ryou?  
  
I'm not hugging your legs, you can walk perfectly fine. See I'm standing right here! Not hugging! Not crying! Nothing!  
  
You people are so blind.  
  
~  
  
Another stupid chapter! This story isn't funny! *Glares at self*  
  
Self: Stop it! You can't even glare right!  
  
It's such a horrible chapter . . . I should at least watch one episode of the show 'Passions' to get some names and info on it! Soap operas are just so . . . not me . . . This chapter was supposed to be mostly about Bakura's soap opera obsession but it's more about Marik huh? Oh well!  
  
This writing style is also not like me . . . I usually write scripts! I can't write sentences without it sounding serious and not funny . . .  
  
Not a lot of swearing in this chapter and some educational facts!  
  
4 pages on Microsoft Word for this chapter, last chapter was 3 I think. My chapters are freakishly short most of the time unless I get some ideas! SO GIVE ME SOME IDEAS!  
  
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\/ Review please! 


	3. Entry 3: Squirrels

Oh joy. Third chapter, happy, happy. Yes. I changed the second chapter to 'Marik' instead of 'Soap Operas' because it makes more sense. Yes. This chapter was late because I was occupied with writing my first one-shot. It's humour AGAIN. I'm never going to stop! MUHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes. It's a 3 week early Christmas special. Why 3? Because it's also a birthday gift to Life's Light/anime*angel because I'm too cheap to get her a REAL present, all I got her was chocolate . . . Well if you want to read it here's the ID: 1630440 it's called 'The Freakishly Queer YGO! Special' I forgot to add the 'Christmas' between 'YGO!' And 'Special' I'm such an idiot.  
  
Now who asked questions??  
  
Syra Lebru: No I did not know that! I know what 'Malice' meant though *nods* that's CLOSE enough to Marik's name right? RIGHT?! OOOKKKKAAAYYY! Here's you squirrel chapter! Happy now? I'M SUCH A FAILURE!!! *Sobs*  
  
Dreammaster2411: Pluto?! Mickey Mouse's dog? LEAVE HIM ALONE YOU FOOL!!! Bakura: You idiot! Pluto's a planet you fool! How would YOU know that? Bakura: Encyclopaedias!!!!  
  
Shadow Ishtar: Of course I can spell it! HHEHEHEHEHHE! Okay, I don't! I have spell-check! HAH! SO STUPIDLY SMART I AM IN THIS FORM OF WRITING THAT IS!  
  
Sparklypiggy: Yah more Marik on this chapter as well! Yah. Yep. That's right. Okay, I'll read a story . . . BUT YOU NEVER SAID TO REVIEW! HAHAHAHAHAHA! SO SMART I AM AGAIN WITH THIS THING THAT I AM REFERRING TO BUT FORGOT WHAT! Uh, which one do I read??  
  
Life's Light/anime*angel: Now you know why I need a chicken plushie for! YOUR BIRTHDAY!  
  
Please be warned that in this chapter Bakura bashes writers. I'm just insulting myself so don't worry about it! ^__^; Also the show about the police officers are made up. Because the only show I watch on crime and stuff is 'America's Most Wanted' (even though I live in Canada), 'CSI' and 'CSI: Miami' even though the last 2 shows aren't much about cops or anything -_-;  
  
NOTE: No Squirrels were injured in the making of this chapter. The Squirrels in this chapter are highly trained professionals and the actions they perform should not be attempted at home or anywhere else. Thank you.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Or E-bay  
  
~  
  
Oh shit. I seriously need new clothes. My sleeves are too short! I must have out grown them! They only go up to my elbows! STUPID T-SHIRT!  
  
Ryou is staring at me funny. He says that T-shirts aren't supposed to have long sleeves.  
  
I don't believe him. I think he cut two thirds of my sleeves and sold them to a sleeve buying merchant that buys sleeves. Yes. One day I will catch him in my room conducting illegal actions with my sleeves! ONE DAY RYOU! ONE DAY!!  
  
Hey where'd he go?! It's so cold outside! I should've stolen his jacket! Was he even wearing a jacket?  
  
Ryou! WHERE DID YOU GO?!?! What? You were here all along? No you weren't! I didn't see you! That's stupid; you have to have moved a muscle unless you're dead . . . Yes . . . dead . . . Don't stare at me like that Ryou, I'm not imagining myself playing a major part in your demises!!  
  
I'm going to play with my beautiful Lloyd now Ryou . . . you just sit there and *twitch* read *cringe* who in their right mind would READ? That's just stupid. What's even more stupid are the people who WRITE! Especially humour! Like for example, about an ancient Egyptian spirit that was stuck in a golden ring for countless years and freed by an everyday teenager and now is writing in a journal and slowly progressing into insanity. I mean, that's just so stupid!  
  
Hey look Lloyd! It's Marik! I wonder if got a good spanking the other day when Isis caught him destroying Ryou's television, which I have absolutely no relation in that incident.  
  
Marik's chucking stuff at these weird looking creatures. They look like rats with a hairdo.  
  
A squirrel huh? And you're chucking crushed paper balls that have been filled with toxic and highly unstable chemicals that have not been tested yet? You got it on E-bay? Wow. I should really learn about this 'computer' thing.  
  
Ryou says that you can post stories on the 'internet' and people 'worldwide' can 'read' it. Hmpf! Imagine some idiot going on a 'fiction' site and 'writing' stuff for 'people' to read! HOW PATHETIC! Who would be stupid enough to do that!  
  
Chucking highly toxic and unstable chemicals inside of a thin paper ball at 'squirrels' is extremely entertaining. As soon as the ball hits the 'squirrel' the chemicals trapped inside explodes out of the paper ball and spreads throughout the creature.  
  
Kind of like a Kuribo. Besides the fact that instead of disappearing cleanly, the creature let's out a large painful screeching sound of pain that they make and they shudder and twitch multiply times before they shrivel up and fall off the tree.  
  
Very interesting.  
  
Marik is staring at my Lloyd again! STUPID MARIK! I'll hit you with this highly unstable material!!! I WILL! So what if I have Journal! I STILL NEED MY LLOYD! NO JOURNAL! I LOVE YOU TOO! DON'T LET MARIK COME BETWEEN US! I HATE YOU MARIK! DON'T YOU KNOW ALL THIS FIGHTING IS TEARING US APART?!?!?!?!  
  
Okay FINE Marik, I'll give you my bunny! But that's IT! Okay?  
  
Marik's hugging the paper too tight. Come on Marik; let's go 'laminate' it. Ryou told me of this 'lamination' machine. It protects paper and such from destruction. I should 'laminate' every one of my Journal's pages after I write in them so no one can destroy my highly intelligent thoughts of the world. Yes.  
  
Hmpft! Some old lady is staring at us strangely. DON'T LOOK AT MY LLOYD! HE'S MINE! I hug my Lloyd protectively as she continues to stare at us. Stupid hag! Marik and I decide to chuck the remaining bucket of paper balls filled with highly toxic and unstable chemicals at her.  
  
She screeches, but everyone ignores her, she starts to shake violently and falls to the ground twitching. Her eyes are funny, they seemed to have changed color, her right pupil is rolling around counter clockwise and her left pupil is twitching up and down and it seems to be bulging out of her eye socket. Weird.  
  
Still, not one notices the old hag. Hah. Everyone must hate her. Marik and I are laughing at her agonizing state.  
  
Suddenly a strangely dressed man is running towards us. He sees her, the paper balls filled with toxic and highly unstable chemicals and the bucket we are holding filled with one or two of the paper balls that are still in there.  
  
He also noticed that we were laughing to each other about how good we got the old hag with our toxic and highly unstable paper balls.  
  
Marik also notices the strangely dressed man and tells me that he is a 'cop' or in more precisely put term, a 'police officer'. He saw them on a TV show based on police officers beating people up and getting awards for doing so. Marik says that we are going to get arrested and will die. Oh-kay . . .  
  
The police officer looks happy actually . . . he's thanking us for driving this woman, which happens to be his mother, insane because he extremely hates her. Now he can enter her in a mental institution and be free from the misery that is his mother.  
  
He just gave us a coupon for purchasing poisonous and explosive materials that resembles other objects. Hmmm . . . Interesting.  
  
~  
  
What a highly boring and grammatically correct chapter. I should just end this story while I'm ahead -_-;  
  
Well, there's your squirrel chapter Syra Lebru. Even though it stinks. I'm sorry. I stink.  
  
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\/ Please review, even though it stinks. Do it for the old hag. And all the other old hags out there that are getting hit by toxic and highly unstable paper balls. 


	4. Entry 4: Ryou

I can't log in! Fanfic was being stupid and won't let me log in! BLAME THEM FOR ME NOT UPDATING! Fanfic is always picking on me! Everyone else can get into their account and I can't! EVIL! EVIL!!!  
  
Okay, I'm going to answer some reviews now. I'm surprised I got any! The last chapter was terrible!  
  
Goddess of Anime: YEAH! THEY WON'T LET ME LOG IN EITHER!!! At least you can review! I couldn't review at all! Not even anonymously!! (Wow, I spelt that without spell-check! :D) I feel your pain! Hey did you see the episode where Ryou tells Joey he forced Bones to give up all his locator cards? And he was like "Good luck!" That was so funny! And Ryou looked good like that! Yami's starting to look kind of funny looking O.O;  
  
Syra Lebru: Coconuts?! *Imagines a disturbing scene with Bakura hula dancing with a grass skirt and coconut bra* THAT IS SO DISTURBING! WHY DID I EVEN THINK THAT?!?!??! OH MY LORD! You're paying for my therapist bills!  
  
SkyDancerHawk: Yeah, reading your review gave me an idea but I forgot it -_- ; Bakura gets a job then . . . something happens to Ryou . . . I FORGOT! Maybe I'll put him (Bakura I mean, not Ryou) in the mafia O____o;  
  
Shadow Ishtar: Long-sleeved T-shirts (the ones that go all the way to your wrist) are just called shirts. I think I had too much cough medicine when I wrote about the sleeve buying merchant. LIES! ALL LIES! BAKURA IS LYING!!! HE BROKE THAT TV!! Hey what a coincidence! I have a pigeon! I got it about 2 weeks ago! And she (the lady in previous chapter) was feeding mutated giraffes that migrated to Japan because of the drought.  
  
Sparklypiggy: It was the part where Bakura said that writing was stupid and that stuff . . . Yes.  
  
Yes it's true, I have a pigeon! Ask my two friends that have seen it. And no, we're not going to eat it! STOP ASKING!!! It's just a baby pigeon so yeah . . . we didn't give it a name =( I wanted to name it something! Oh well.  
  
Also thanks to all the voted on my poll about the sequel to 'Seto's in Trouble!' I'm kind of planning to combine all the ideas! But I don't have an idea for what the sequel's story title will be! Go to the poll and suggest on that forum thing.  
  
NOTE: No woodland creatures where injured in the making of this chapter  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Or 'Dominoes'  
  
~  
  
We stashed the poisonous and explosive materials that resembles other objects in Marik's Lair. That's his basement. Isis doesn't go there because she knows that Marik practices experiments involving electricity, a large switch, woodland creatures, and dishwashing fluids.  
  
I made sure Lloyd and Journal didn't go there with me, they are still young for this seeing those woodland creatures (that are no longer woodland creatures) will freak them out.  
  
-  
  
HIYA RYOU! WHATCHA DOING JUST LYING THERE ON THE COUCH?!?!? OH YOU HAVE A HEADACHE??! OF COURSE I'LL QUITE DOWN!!!  
  
SO, HOW'D YA GET A HEADACHE?!  
  
Oh . . . I don't know anything about leaving a bunch of paper balls that are apparently filled with highly toxic and unstable chemicals on the stairs were you can step on them and trip and they'd be stuck all over your hair which would bring you much pain because of the highly toxic and unstable chemicals.  
  
Well um . . . I'd better go do my chores!  
  
-  
  
Do, doo, do, do, do, doo, dooooooooooooooooooooo-oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh!  
  
HEYA RYOU! I'm just here mowing the carpet! How'd I get a lawnmower into the living room? Well I'm smart that's why! ^__^  
  
Stop looking at me like that! I am very smart! Well I'm mowing the carpet because I think it needs a nice trim.  
  
What? Sorry Ryou I can't hear you! So you have a headache what does that have to do with me mowing the carpet?  
  
Carpets can me mowed for your information! It's not loud! YOU'RE JUST QUITE! DON'T BE MEAN RYOU!!!!  
  
Oh whoops! I knocked over a lamp, which knocked over another lamp, which fell onto another lamp making that lamp fall . . . and another lamp . . . and wait! It's going to fall into that chair! No wait, that's a lamp! Man, do we ever have so many lamps! It's like a domino thing going on!  
  
Hey, we live in the city of 'Domino' and there's a pizza company named 'Dominoes'. Wow, isn't that interesting Ryou?  
  
Um, there's red gooey stuff coming out of your head . . . HEY! That's blood!  
  
I know because once we threw a mouse in the blender and Marik, being an idiot, forgot to put the lid on, and Isis came home (that woman has weird timing) and she threw a fit! Yeah that mouse was the slave's pet! He's still looking for it! The Pharaoh told his slave that his dumb rat joined the 'M.C.J' which stands for 'Mouse Circus of Japan' and his slave believed him! His grandfather told the Pharaoh that so the Pharaoh told that to his slave! They both thought the rat joined the 'M.C.J'! Like they'd take in the Pharaoh's slave's rat! No one ever found out it was us.  
  
Jeeze Ryou! You can at least pretend to be listening! You're look like you're dead or something . . .  
  
Oh wait, he go hit by a lamp and there's blood coming out of his head and he's unconscious, that can't be too good!  
  
Stupid Ryou! He just got his by a lamp! If I got hit by a lamp it wouldn't even faze me because my skull is thick! That's what Ryou told me when I set fire on the kitchen. At least we got a new kitchen right? 'Insurance' is good!  
  
Hm. Maybe I should help him. Like take him to the 'hospital' or something like that. Nah, I'd rather go get some food.  
  
-  
  
Fridge.  
  
Empty.  
  
Freezer.  
  
Empty.  
  
Cupboards.  
  
Empty.  
  
Microwave.  
  
Empty.  
  
Oven.  
  
Rabbit.  
  
Lawnmower.  
  
Grass.  
  
Yum! Grass! Wait a minute! Why's there a rabbit in the oven?!?! I remember sticking the slave in an oven once . . . . Heh. The Pharaoh practically went insane. At least I didn't cook him . . .  
  
The bunny I drew and gave to Marik to 'laminate' was much more appealing.  
  
Ra I'm hungry!!!  
  
Not that I want to eat it or anything. The rodent I mean. I've been talking much about rodents lately. Slave rats. Ryou-looking rabbits.  
  
Yes. The rabbit looks like Ryou! Not that I want to eat Ryou. Since I do _NOT_ want to eat that rodent. Wait a minute!  
  
Rat.  
  
Rabbit.  
  
Rodent.  
  
Ryou.  
  
I see a pattern.  
  
Yum . . . Hey! Since when did I start eating that rabbit?!  
  
It's kind of bland . . . needs salsa . . . MMMMMMMMMMMMMM . . . salsa . . .  
  
I loved salsa ever since I chugged down 3 bottles of ketchup (why there was 3 bottles of ketchup lying around I shall never know . . .) and puked it back out.  
  
Ryou said I had a fever so I wasn't thinking straight when I was chugging down ketchup. I never think straight! Fever or not!  
  
Anyways I hurled all over the place and the red guck filled with some chunks of last month's moths (which I ate last month ^__^) reminded me of the bottle of 'salsa' un-used in Ryou's kitchen.  
  
While Ryou was cleaning all that up I went into the kitchen and swallowed up all of the 'salsa'. Yum.  
  
Ryou screamed at me after that. He said that that bottle of salsa was bought in 1995 and was never even opened yet. Apparently he doesn't like salsa so when he was a kid he hid it away and then during (the time I was having the fever) spring cleaning he found it and just placed it there and had to go clean my barf before throwing it away.  
  
Good ol' Ryou. Too bad I barfed after his yelling.  
  
I love salsa.  
  
Hey Ryou! When'd you get here? Did you have a good sleep? I was just thinking about you. Remember when I barfed all over the living room . . .? Why am I gnawing on you bunny plushie??  
  
Holy Ra! I thought it was real!  
  
Ryou's staring at me oddly. He looks kind of afraid.  
  
Why was there a rabbit plushie in the oven anyways?!?! Oh . . . well now that you mention it, it DOES look like a table.  
  
Listen to me Ryou; I wouldn't have tried to eat it if I thought it wasn't real.  
  
I should've known it wasn't real. It tastes so _BLAND_.  
  
We need to buy more salsa!  
  
Ryou looks like he's going to pass out again. He deathly hates salsa.  
  
I think it clashes with his white hair. Mine, on the other hand, would be a perfect fit for salsa . . . wait, my hair is white! I take that back. SALSA! I NEED SALSA!  
  
There's even a dance called 'salsa' I think. I was watching it on the 'television' or in my term, 'the square box with moving pictures that produces sounds'.  
  
Once I was experimenting with the thingy that operates 'the square box with moving pictures that produces sounds' and the 'Salsa Network' came on.  
  
It was amazing! I started to learn the steps but then Ryou came in and he saw me dancing salsa while eating salsa, he ran screaming and out of the house.  
  
He cancelled the subscription for the 'Salsa Network' after that. And he refused to give me salsa.  
  
No more salsa for poor Bakura. =(  
  
Ryou took the ugly rabbit from my mouth. Not that you're ugly Ryou . . . hehe . . .  
  
I have to be nice to Ryou. I need my salsa back!  
  
~  
  
I don't know why I just ended it there . . . I didn't know where the rodent things came from. It appeared out of no where and attacked me from behind! Um . . . rabbits are rodents right? Bakura thinks so. I have nothing against animals. I guess Bakura just doesn't like them huh?  
  
Did I mention that all the Yamis and Hikaris have separate bodies? Marik's yami probably won't show up unless I get an idea that involves him. I don't like salsa so . . . yeah. There is no such thing as the 'Salsa Network' from my experience. And if there is, I don't own it.  
  
This chapter is 5 pages long, one extra page because of the last chapter's short-ness. This makes up for it. Okay, it doesn't really, but I don't care! I finally get a chance to write since my relatives are gone from visiting!  
  
Yes, anyways thanks to all who went to my site and voted on the 2 polls I currently put up.  
  
'No Sanity Allowed' is back!!! NOW EVERYONE CAN STOP TRYING TO KILL ME! ^__^  
  
ID: 1676247  
  
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\/ Thanks for listening to me and Bakura's rambling. Please review. 


	5. Entry 5: Dreams

If you guys go to my website (which you probably don't) and read my updates (which you also probably don't or will ever since you people actually have lives unlike me . . .) or if you read my other active story 'No Sanity Allowed' then you'll know that the writing style of this story is changing in this chapter! YAY!!!  
  
Well it's not a HUGE change or anything . . . people just actually talk! ^__^ I was planning the writing style to be this way but somewhere along the lines I forgot and never bothered to change it -_-; I've mentioned many times before that I'm lazy right? Right, so then, when the story ends (don't know when or how . . .) the first 4 chapters will be re-written and posted at the end because I've learned from experience that when I replace the chapters everything gets messed up (story format, chapter placing etc.). That's how the wind blows kiddies! So when the story ends there will still be an addition of 4 chapters at the end . . . it'll be better!!!  
  
Just smile and nod . . . ^__^  
  
Sparklypiggy: Uuuugggghhhhhhhhh . . . too . . . lazy . . . to say where the author bashing is . . . you want to get bashed? Here ya go!  
  
Marik: I HATE YOU! YOU EVIL MAN! DDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOODDD!  
  
There! Now everyone is happy ^__^ Is Kiya and O.C.? Because I don't like O.C.s. that much since imagining how they look like and stuff takes loads on my poor sad tiny brain =( Pigs like cheese? Well pigs like everything, they ARE pigs!  
  
Goddess-Of-Anime: Hey you changed your name slightly! I notice these little things . . . Hey saying that you are too lazy to write it out makes you type more than if you do write it out . . . if you know what I mean . . . which you probably don't . . . Ryou looks fat?? -_-; Well he should get some more meat in him! I've read SO many fics about him being to skinny! How can it be a shame that he's going insane because he's insane?!?! 1300 hours . . . there's 24 hours in a day so . . . I have to write it in . . . 54.166666666666666666666666666667 days. I used my calculator =P Well I updated a BIT earlier is that okay? Or should the next time update I'll do it in a bit under 2 months?  
  
Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru: Funny, I'm not good at cheering people up but I did before sometimes by making jokes that makes no sense . . . I make no sense . . . I make no good jokes =(  
  
Nimi: REALLY? YOU REALLY WATCH THAT?!?!?! I don't like watching any soap operas! I'd rather watch a sappy romance!! *Starts chocking* Wait, they're nearly the same!!! -_-;  
  
Ryou Bakura Obsessor: I had to use the dictionary to find out wait 'maim' means and now I am very afraid of you.  
  
Azulfire5: I think I said why I decided to write this fic in the first chapter . . . I'm too lazy to check or remember though  
  
BakaNeko-Chan: Glad you like my writing style . . . but I'm changing it!!! Hope you'll like it better . . . it's easier to write with this style!  
  
Other people that reviewed:  
  
RainOwl  
  
Nerva al'Thor  
  
Life's Light/anime*angel  
  
Uh, I don't know how I got the idea for this chapter. I had it when I was playing a game about leaves. Yes, leaves. I HAVE A 4 YEAR OLD SISITER OKAY! I use her as an excuse for all my child-like actions. She sets a bad example fore her older sister darkshadow-23. *Nods*  
  
Also there is Tea/Anzu bashing. Because in the 'Shadow Realm' Arc (Or Noa's Ark since that's what many call it in the Japanese version . . . Noa's Ark, like the bible story 'Noah's Ark'! I've seen it on a cartoon . . . *is not catholic or religious in even her nationality*) she was so annoying I wanted to throw her into a blender and kill her good. I could 'maim' her if she annoys me any longer.  
  
Disclaimer: Poor darkshaow-23 doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh! She doesn't own 'Passions' either and doesn't even watch it so all the events are completely made up by her feeble brain. Spare her, for she is innocent of all these crimes.  
  
~  
  
Na, na, na, na, na, NA!  
  
I just love the sound of salsa music!  
  
I'm at Marik's house right now and Isis just HAD to make us watch that show again. Yes Lloyd, 'Passions'.  
  
She practically forced us down on the couch! Here she comes now.  
  
"Ugh! I can't believe you two are still watching that stupid show! My documentary on the Egyptian exhibit is on the 3 minutes!!!"  
  
And with that she stormed out to buy us chocolate sundaes for being very nice people.  
  
I'm not escaping from the terror on this show just because the people one this is learning to dance 'salsa'.  
  
Yes, salsa! My true calling! One day I will go to wherever the hell salsa was invented and dance the dance of all dances. Salsa.  
  
~  
  
I'm back at Ryou's house now. Since I live there. So it's kind of like my house. Except all I do is annoy Ryou, eat, sleep, watch 'television' and other meaningful things.  
  
It's quiet . . . too quiet . . .  
  
I quickly run up to Ryou's room. I'm not scared of being alone in a house that seems to echo when you think. Not at all.  
  
I sense evil. I run into Ryou's room and . . .  
  
NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  
  
I'm too late! It's over! HE'S GONE FOR EVER! THE DARKNESS HAS TAKEN HIM!!!!  
  
On Ryou's neatly folded bed I find - a leaf.  
  
Yes, a leaf.  
  
Ryou always loved leaves, *sniff* once in the middle of fall he told me when he was younger he always wanted to be a leaf . . .  
  
Okay, maybe he didn't I'm just making this up. But he could have! I don't listen to him anymore.  
  
Oh well. I've done my best to save him. His dream of becoming a leaf has come true . . .  
  
Well yes, I made up the Ryou-wanting-to-become-a-leaf thing but he COULD have wanted to be a leaf right?  
  
Who would want to be a leaf anyways? You'll just rot and die before winter comes anyways.  
  
I'm happy Ryou fulfilled his dream I made up for him and everything, but what about ME? The most important person in this thing? I need food! I need salsa! Both of them. I NEED lessons! I NEED to eat salsa!  
  
He fulfilled his dream! It's only right I fulfill mine! I MUST BECOME THE BEST SALSA DANCER AND EATER EVER!!!!  
  
LOOK OUT WORLD! HERE I COME!!!!  
  
. . .  
  
Shut up Lloyd.  
  
~  
  
I must somehow achieve my gaol. Ryou or no Ryou. He is supporting me in spirit, I know it. Even though he denies his love for salsa I know deep down he want to become a salsa dancer/eater also! I will fulfill that dream for the both of us!!!  
  
I vaguely remember that annoying little friend of the Pharaoh's slave . . . Yes! The dancer! The annoying little a-hole will teach me the true art of salsa! Then, I shall kill her.  
  
So she's taller than me, I don't give a shit.  
  
On the 'telephone' it has the Slave's name on it. That 'speed-dial' Ryou told me about. Lazy Ryou not wanting to press a couple of buttons . . . but this is good for me since I don't know his 'phone number'.  
  
"Hello! Yugi speaking!"  
  
Stupid, perky little brat . . . Wait! As naïve as the kid is he would never tell me the where the girl is . . .  
  
"Why hello Yugi! This . . . Ryou . . . Yes . . . That's me, Ryou . . ."  
  
"Ryou? ^__^ Oh hi! What's up? ^__^"  
  
Mustn't kill him . . . need information first . . .  
  
"I'm in quite a dilemma Yugi, Tea and I are partners in a . . . school project and I forgot where she lives! Can you possibly help me?"  
  
"Oh, yeah, wait I need to get my address book."  
  
The British accent never fails me! ^__^  
  
"MUHAHAHAHHAHAHAA! Thank you, you naïve little fool! I'll be sure that you'll never see your little dancer friend ever again! Except in a giant blender of course! :)"  
  
"O_O YYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Oh crap!"  
  
I quickly slam the 'receiver' down.  
  
~  
  
Ryou is a leaf. I had another idea about Ryou being a leaf for a different story but then, at the time, I had 3 stories going on and I never really written it down . . . maybe a one-shot? Or somehow fit it in a part of 'No Sanity Allowed'? We'll see. I can't make a new fic now! I need to work on the sequel to 'Seto's in Trouble' after I find a suitable title for it! Any ideas?  
  
The ending is KIND of a cliff hanger . . . Something is going to happen along the way to Tea's house! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'll leave you to guess what will happen! Hint: It's something to do with Lloyd! Tea would probably not be mentioned a lot since I don't like her and she shouldn't play an important or even semi important part in my fic.  
  
Should Tea die? Get sent to the Shadow Realm? Get maimed by Ryou Bakura Obsessor by accident while she was trying to maim poor little darkshadow- 23? You guys give me some ideas! And the best idea(s) will be added into the next chapter (or maybe even future chapters) and maybe you'll even get into the fic! I have a tendency to force reviewers into my fics because I'm too lazy to make up random people. I make up too many random people.  
  
O_O!!! I've looked back into some past chapters and noticed that the first 3 chapters where # 9 Verdana font! I usually use # 10!!! So it's actually 5 pages not 4! I'VE BEEN WRITING MORE BEFORE!!!! *Is scared* Now I'm writing about the same . . . Five pages in this chapter also! ^__^  
  
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\/ *in a bad British accent* Oh, review please! *Ryou eyes* 


	6. Entry 6: Salsa

Wow, haven't updated in over a week . . . well that's not very long, for me anyways! First day of midterms! (Well maybe not by the time I post it . . .) French was kind of easy! We watched 'Finding Nemo' in French with English subtitles and we had a double sided sheet that we had to fill out (in French) but we got to take it home to do it! ^__^ and the Social Studies test was pretty easy, it was out of 130 O_O;  
  
Yeah enough about my life! I'm taking time from studying (I'm NOT going to do well on my Science midterm I'm sure . . .) to write a bit . . .  
  
RainOwl: YAY! You're the 50th reviewer! I think . . . I'm not really sure, fanfic is messed up! Anyways um . . . usually I'll put you into the story and you'll do . . . something but right now my brain's dead and I really don't know . . . anything . . . you want to bonk Bakura on the head or something? He's not real so, it's okay . . .  
  
Bakura: JUST BECAUSE I'M ANIME DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T HAVE ANY FEELINGS!!! *Runs away crying*  
  
Your zombie made me think of squirrels . . . ZOMBIE squirrels  
  
Nerva al'Thor: I'M LOVED! HAH! ONE FOR ME NOW, HUH GOD?!!?!  
  
God: -_-; so, I have more fans then you!  
  
Dark-Sephy: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! TEA MUST DIE! She's gotten annoying . . . in "Duellist Kingdom" she was OK, but now in "Enter the Shadow Realm" she's gotten annoying  
  
Life's Light/anime*angel: Must you always point out my flaws?! You're right! I DID THAT! I didn't realize until I re-read it but by then I was too lazy to do anything about it  
  
Sparklypiggy: Yeah, I know you're not a guy! Marik's just . . . weird . . . going gangster I think O_O; Bah, I'll have to read your stories a little later! Stupid people who never finish their fics just because they want to torture us . . . MUST STORIES HAVE PLOTS?!? That really made no sense eh?  
  
Thanks to others who reviewed:  
  
Ryou Bakura Obsessor  
  
dreammaster2411  
  
Warning: Tea/Anzu bashing. Can anyone tell me what they mean when they call Tea 'apricot girl'? I thought apricot was a fruit -_-; so she's a fruit? What's a fruit? Not like the ones you eat . . . Also, there's a dirty joke in here . . . should I up the rating more? I have the worst jokes! GAH! Spot the joke and you get . . . nothing really, I'll send you a . . . e- card?  
  
Disclaimer: darkshadow-23 doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Some dude did. She would type his name, but she's too lazy to walk to the next room and get her manga. Sorry.  
  
~  
  
I think Ryou became a leaf due to the highly toxic and unstable chemicals that he fell on that day.  
  
After all, the sweat from Marik's socks were in there!  
  
The sweat was lavender. His favourite color! LAVENDER SWEAT.  
  
That's.  
  
Just.  
  
Sick.  
  
I'm all out for throwing rodents in blenders but LAVENDER SWEAT?! His socks weren't even lavender . . . wait! On second thought I think it wasn't his socks! It was his old skin that he peeled from under his feet! Ra, I'm going to puke!  
  
Alright Bakura, calm yourself down. You have to go to the Pharaoh's Slave's Friend's house and learn to be the best salsa dancer in the world. The your followers can help steal the Pharaoh's Puzzle because he can't hurt innocent people driven mad by a crazy 3000 year old spirit in a ring that dances salsa.  
  
We're almost there Lloyd! I CAN FEEL IT!!  
  
. . .  
  
Even though we haven't gotten out of the front yard yet I can feel the salsa calling to me! THE SALSA! THE SALSA! THE SALSA! THE SALS-!!  
  
Oops, did I say that out loud? The neighbours are staring . . .  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? NEVER SEEN A HANSOME GUY BEFORE?"  
  
I flick my hair back. One of the neighbours' daughters starts puking on her front lawn while her friend laughs like mad.  
  
So I haven't showered in a while . . . didn't have to make me feel bad.  
  
Stupid mortals.  
  
~  
  
Hey look Lloyd! This is the same place I rescued you from that stupid freckled face kid. I choked him good, I did.  
  
Wow, how ironic. There's the kid right now looking as annoying as ever.  
  
He pouts like the little kid he is and says, "Hey mister! You'd better give me back that ball! My dad's a poo-lice officer and he can send you to jail!"  
  
Stupid little kid.  
  
"Ball? What ball? Aren't you a bit young to have any balls?" I burst out laughing.  
  
He looks at me very, very confused. "I'm 5 years old! SEE!" He sticks up 3 fingers from his right had and 2 from his left.  
  
I snort and just start to walk away.  
  
Remember you're mission, Bakura, THE SALSA! THE SALSA! THE SALSA!  
  
"EEWWWW! I HATE salsa! It tastes like toenails!"  
  
SHIT! The kid's trailing me! I wonder why he knows how toenails taste like . . . did I speak aloud again . . . He's staring at me, am I thinking out loud?  
  
"Look here you little punk! Lloyd's MY ball now!" Wow, that sounded kind of wrong.  
  
"LLOYD?!?!? You NAMED my ball? HOW COULD YOU MR. SPARKLES!"  
  
"Mr. SPARKLES??!?! ARE YOU INSANE??!!" Well I'm insane, but you know what I mean right Journal? "YOU DON'T DESERVE LLOYD! DDDDDDIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!"  
  
I punch him in the jaw. Stupid kid! Mr. Sparkles?! That's like a dog's name!  
  
"DDDDDAAAAAAAADDDDDDDYYYYYYYY!!!" The kid cries and cries and cries and . . . well you get the point -_-;  
  
It was the 'cop'! The kid's father was that 'police officer' that gave us the coupon!  
  
"Hey it's you! Hi, how's it going?" We shake hands as he ignored his kid.  
  
"Daddy! That man punched me! And he stole Mr. Sparkles!" The kid makes this fake pathetic face. Freaking little -  
  
"It's MY BALL! And he said salsa tastes like toenails! I've never eaten toenails, but from the way he said it, it must not have been a positive comment!" I sound so cool, I should be a 'lawyer', like on that 'television show' Judge Something-or-other.  
  
"Ew, that sounded kind of wrong . . . WHAT?! I told you boy! Don't diss THE SALSA! THE SALSA! THE SALSA!"  
  
Wow, it's like there's in echo out here.  
  
"Sorry to bother you sir, you can have that ball if you want to, I owe you one!" He took the kid and dragged him away.  
  
YAY! We survived another toadstool in life Lloyd.  
  
. . .  
  
Oh, I mean 'obstacle'.  
  
Back to important matters! Must find the Pharaoh's Slave's Friends and SALSA!!!!  
  
~  
  
Damn . . . what's a 'street' again?! Ryou's language is so confusing. If it was written in Bakura language (Ancient Egyptian script) maybe it'll be easier.  
  
Pictures are so much better than books! That's why I have nice picture books in my room! I learn a LOT too! Bunnies hop and cow's 'moo'! Not the other way around! ^__^  
  
AHAH! Thank you Ra! The Pharaoh's Slave's Friend! She's just STANDING there!  
  
As if waiting for me to bring her to her DOOM! MUHAHAHAHA!  
  
"Hello, Tea, it is I, Ryou. You're friend. Yes. Ryou . . . friend . . . remember that now."  
  
"Oh hi Ryou! ^__^ what's up??"  
  
FEAR ME! FOR I HAVE - A BRITISH ACCENT!!!  
  
"Oh . . . nothing, what is up with you?"  
  
"I'm waiting for the bus, I got a new part-time job!"  
  
What's a bus?  
  
"I need you're help Tea. I'm going to a . . . dance party . . . and I need to learn to do THE SALSA! THE SALSA! THE SALS-"  
  
DAMMIT! I let myself slip! MUST CONTROL SELF!!!  
  
"Are you alright Ryou? You're twitching . . ."  
  
"I'm *twitch* fine . . ." I finally control myself. I must be careful. "So, anyways I was wondering if you can teach me THE *twitch* . . . salsa . . ."  
  
"OH! I'm faltered that you came to me but I can't salsa! I'm going to go to New York and study another kind of dance! Like ballerina! Or hip hop, that's why I play DDR, it stands for Dance Dance Revolution. You should try ballerina I don't see much guys dancing that but it's really good, and you're my friend so we can learn to dance together and we can both go to New York and find ballerina friends! Yugi, Yami, Joey and Tristan don't like ballerina but that's okay, since you like dancing now so we can convince them to do hip hop and they can go to New York and make hip hop friends and then we can all be friends and we'll have lot's of friend and out new friends ca - OH GOSH! I missed my bus! The driver isn't really friendly! We should all be friends! Maybe he likes to dance too! Anyways, as I was saying our new friends ca- Ryou? RRRRRRRRYYYYYYOOOOOUUU? Where did you go? Where you too excited and decided to go to New York without me? =("  
  
"PREPARE TO DIE MORTAL!!!!!!" I was about to chuck some paper balls filled with highly toxic and unstable chemicals at her when I was stopped by . . . RYOU?!?!  
  
"STOP BAKURA! You can't kill my friend!"  
  
"RYOU?!?!?!? BUT YOU TURNED INTO A LEAF!!!!"  
  
"Whhhhaaaa?"  
  
"You weren't home, and there was this leaf on your bed and the highly toxic and unstable chemicals in paper balls and I was going to learn how to salsa . . ."  
  
"Ugh! No more of this salsa stuff Bakura! And that leaf was my bookmark! It's made out of plastic! I went out to the doctors because of YOUR highly toxic and unstable chemicals!"  
  
Oh . . . well I knew that!  
  
And now, to make matters worse, the Pharaoh and his slave is here.  
  
"RUN TEA! BAKURA'S TRYING TO KILL YOU!" Stupid slave ratted me out! Well, she should have excepted that I'd try to kill her.  
  
"What? Nah! Bakura would never do that! He's my friend! And he was just pretending to be Ryou so I can teach him how to dance! He could've just told me but that's okay! Sometimes friends keeping secrets are okay. But I made him upset that I can't dance salsa s-"  
  
"SALSA?! I LOVE SALSA!!!" OH MY RA! THE PHARAOH IS DANCING!!!!  
  
"MY EYES!!!!! OH MY FREAKING GOD!!!!" The Pharaoh's Slave's Friend ran away screaming in fear.  
  
I would've done the same thing! He has ruined the true art of salsa =(  
  
~  
  
5 pages again! I usually just write 3 for all of my other stories! But always at least 5 in this one . . . I'm very proud of myself . . .  
  
Hey RainOwl you want to be the girl that puked's friend? Or someone give me an idea -_-; my brain is just . . . gone . . . I think I'm high on something O_O; Waiter, there's a drug in my soup! Wow, aren't I just funny?!?!!? Anyone find the joke? Because if you did you get a box of AIR! And the box is made of AIR! First 3 correct answers gets FRESH AIR! It will be delivered by the next chapter! THINK HARD BEFORE YOU SUMIT YOUR ENTRY!!! You only get one ;)  
  
Were my Tea friendship speeches any bad? Because they are technically supposed to be.  
  
I made Bakura sound like he's talking to himself . . . not Ryou though! HAHAHAHHA! You get it? Ryou's his other half? They can talk to each other (even though they don't) and Bakura talks to himself? And it's not Ryou? HAHA? You see?  
  
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\/ you can review and tell me to stop making jokes that make no sense if you want too . . . *sighs* Not that it'll stop me . . . *manic theme plays* . . . 


	7. Entry 7: Gifts

YAY! I WAS RIGHT! I did badly on my Science midterms! ^__^ Why am I happy?! Okay, I don't know what I got yet but the test was hard! Yeah . . . I got this STARNGE idea for this chapter when I was walking home from school on Friday . . . but it's not a lot so hopefully I'll think of more strange ideas later on! ^__^  
  
OOOOHHHHH! REVIEWS!!!! *Puts them on her desk* ^__^ THEY SO PURDY!!!  
  
Goddess-of-Anime: HEY! LONG TIME NO SEE! I think . . . eh?? Are you one of my reviewers from 'No Sanity Allowed'? It got deleted but its back and better! I added new scenes and took stuff out and made it longer! Please go read and review all the chapters! ^__^  
  
KuranaandHiei4ever: Sorry! BUT I DON'T HAVE AIM!!!! *DUM, DUM, DUM!!!* I have MSN . . . um . . . oh! Go to my website darkshadow-23.cjb.net and then to the news place, and there's this poll . . . just vote or click on the view results thing!!! I can chat with you on the forum thingy! Uh . . . yeah! You can be in the story but I don't know what you can do -_-; I STILL don't know what to do with RainOwl since she's my 50th reviewer and she's supposed to do something!!!  
  
Syra Lebru: I REMEMBER YOU! I think . . . I'm not really sure! I have terrible memory . . . I'm not kidding! Ask . . . um . . . someone who knows me! You're the person that suggested to put squirrels down Bakura's underpants! No, wait, I just randomly wanted that to happen . . . but I feel sorry to the squirrels! They'll probably die or be traumatised!  
  
Sharpie Marker 666: You're right! I read some stories that made me laughed before and my mom came in and asked why I was laughing like a crazy chicken O.o; (she said it in Cantonese)  
  
Life's Light/anime*angel: Sorry! But unfortunately that answer is _WRONG_!!! But don't worry! YOU GET A CONSTELLATION PRIZE!!!! Here's your *drum starts . . . drumming . . .* CUP OF AIR!!!!! YYYYAAAAAAYYYYY!!! ^_______^ I always make mistakes . . . I'LL FIND A MISTAKE IN YOUR WRITING! YOU'LL SEE!!!! Okay, I probably won't, I'm not . . . what do you call those people with brains again? Um . . . ssssaaaaa . . . sssssssaaaaaaaaaa- mmmmmmaaaarrrrrr . . . tttttttt . . . enough!  
  
Thanks to the other people who reviewed!  
  
RainOwl  
  
Ryou Bakura Obsessor  
  
Dreammaster2411  
  
Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru  
  
Aw, only one person found the joke . . . Syra Lebru, I hope you enjoy your brand new box of fresh air!!!! This not-exactly-a-contest is sponsored by: No one! Because no company in their right mind would help someone like darkshadow-23! ^__^  
  
Many people liked the last chapter . . . was it because of the dancing Pharaoh? If only there was a 'Dancing Pharaoh' action figures . . . MUHAHHAAHAHAHAHHA!  
  
Disclaimer: darkshadow-23 doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Someone more superior than her does. She can't even spell 'smart'! When she was born the nurse didn't put 'female' under 'gender' on her birth certificate, instead she put 'MORON'. (A/N: I made this up in art class . . . except I said it about someone else! XD)  
  
~  
  
"I can't believe you tried to kill Tea, Bakura! Okay, actually, I can . . . BUT STILL! You can't just run around killing people!"  
  
We're back at Ryou's house.  
  
He's shouting at me! At least he's not 'disappointed'. Marik's going to be 'disappointed' at me fore not killing the Pharaoh's Slave's Friend. He's going to cry when I tell him about the Pharaoh dancing.  
  
"- BLENDER! A BLENDER! You were going to stick Tea in A BLENDER!!! If Yugi hadn't found me in time I don't know WHAT you would have done!!!"  
  
Ryou shouts a LOT. And he's supposed to be the nice one . . . Well how about I be nice and maybe Ryou will forget all about this!  
  
"HEY RYOU! GUESS WHAT?!?! ^__^"  
  
Ryou sighs, looking annoyed at me for interrupting his shouting session. "What?"  
  
"I got you a present! ^__^" That ought to cheer him up.  
  
"A present? Please, please, PLEASE tell me you didn't dissect the neighbour's pet AGAIN!!!!"  
  
Oh, you make ONE LITTLE mistake . . . "No, no of course not! I got you this!" I hold up my wonderful, beautiful, and absolutely stunning present.  
  
". . . eh?"  
  
"See, I noticed in your garden that you had a bunch of flowers and stuff but nothing really useful-"  
  
"Gee, thanks. -_-;"  
  
"- so I went to the shops and got a package of 'Meat Growing Pills'!"  
  
". . . What???"  
  
"If you plant these and water it everyday you'll get a healthy plant of pork chops!"  
  
"But Bakura, pork chops don't come from-"  
  
"And the guy at the shop said that you can also grow seedless onions if you soak it in orange juice too!"  
  
"But there ARE no seeds in-"  
  
"I heard from Marik that the British REALLY like onions-"  
  
"What kind of bloody sh-"  
  
"-So I thought it would make the PERFECT gift! ^__^"  
  
"-it is that??"  
  
Ryou tends to swear quite a bit. I think it's because he's British. Probably because of all those seedless onions they eat.  
  
"Here you go! The perfect gift from the perfect yami! ^__^" I thrust the package into his awaiting hands.  
  
"Uh, thanks Bakura . . ."  
  
"See? Aren't I the greatest? You don't see the Pharaoh giving seedless onion seeds for HIS hikari everyday!"  
  
Ryou just stares at the package.  
  
"What . . . don't you . . . like it . . .?"  
  
DO NOT CRY BAKURA!!! Remember, you stole the package anyways . . . IT IS OKAY!  
  
"Yes!!! Of COURSE I like it! But unfortunately my garden, you know? The . . . um . . . soil! Yeah the soil, it can't handle 'Pork Chop Plants' or 'Seedless Onion Tress' so I'm afraid I can't use it . . . that's why I have 'nothing useful' in my garden you see . . ."  
  
"Oh . . ."  
  
Its okay, Bakura, they are just seed . . . Its okay that you'll never see a pork chop plant . . . EVER!!!! DON'T CRY DAMMIT!!!  
  
"But I can um . . . keep this package of seeds near my desk! So I can imagine a 'Pork Chop Plant' and a 'Seedless Onion Tree' every time I . . . see it?"  
  
"OKAY! ^_____^"  
  
I skip - I mean, walk away dignifiedly. I'm such a great yami don't you think?  
  
"HEY WAIT! These aren't seeds! They're cond-"  
  
I think I just hear Ryou say something . . . it must be my imagination . . .  
  
~  
  
~*DING DONG*~  
  
I'm at Marik's house right now! I'm going to be a good friend and give him a present as well! I bet he'd love it as much as Ryou loved the present I gave him! ^__^  
  
"Oh, hi Bakura! What brings you here? Without a small animal??"  
  
"I brought you a present Marik! ^__^"  
  
"PRESENT?!?!? WHERE?!?!? GIMME! GIMME! GIMME!!! Err . . . I mean, come in good friend! ^__^"  
  
"Here's your present Marik! ^__^" I hand him my fatabulous present! Is fatabulous even a word?  
  
"What . . . is it?"  
  
"It's World Book Encyclopaedia! THE 3rd EDITION!!!! ^__^ isn't it great?!"  
  
"Yeah . . . well . . . it would be . . . but *sniff* I CAN'T READ!!!!!" Marik bursts into tears and runs somewhere upstairs clutching the World Book Encyclopaedia (3rd Edition) I gave him.  
  
Wow, I didn't know he couldn't read! What a moron . . . even I can read! ^__^ HAHA! SUCKER!!!  
  
"Bakura!" Uh oh, it's Isis -_-; "I can't believe you! As Marik's best friend you should know he can't read!"  
  
"Since when was I his best friend?"  
  
"You go apologize to him right now!"  
  
"But I don't wanna! I gave him a present that's good enough!"  
  
"Yeah, you gave him a BOOK with WORDS which he can't READ!!!!"  
  
"It ain't my fault he can't read . . ." I stare at her accusingly.  
  
"That's it! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!" EEP! Where'd she get that broom?!  
  
"Ow! Ow! OW! STOP HITTING ME WITH THAT! IT HURTS!" What is that, a metal broom??  
  
"Oh okay . . . HOW ABOUT THIS?!?!?" A FRYING PAN??!!! WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?!?!?!  
  
MY BRAIN! IT BURNS!!!! My skull is vibrating! DAMN MY THICK SKULL! Ryou said I had a thick skull but isn't that a good thing?!  
  
Ooooh look blood! COOLIES! Bloody blood, blood! Come here little guy! Why has the wall going swirly colours?  
  
Oh wait, that's my blood! It's so pretty!  
  
~  
  
Uuuggghhh I feel like I have a hang over . . . that last thing I remember is being hit over by Isis's frying pan and passing out! I'll get her for this . . . I'll saw off her arm and feed it to the blender! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
"About time you woke up! You made Marik feel terrible you know that? You know that he can't read!"  
  
Gah, Ryou's picking on my again! I didn't know he couldn't read . . . well, he can read hieroglyphs and Arabic . . . Hey, I was JUST trying to be nice!  
  
"Never, EVER give ANYONE any more GIFTS EVER again!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT WAS IN THE PACKAGE YOU GAVE ME?!?!?!?"  
  
"Duh, Pork Chop Plant seeds and Seedless Onion Trees!"  
  
"THERE'S NO SUCH THING YOU IMBECILE!!! GGGGRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!" Ryou stomps away and a couple of moments later I hear a door slam somewhere.  
  
There IS such thing . . . right?  
  
That's what you get for being nice, remind me never to be nice again Lloyd!  
  
~  
  
Ugh, I know that chapter kind of stunk! And it was short . . . 5 pages like always but there was mostly review responding -_-; I really need ideas people!  
  
Does anyone know what Bakura REALLY gave Ryou? It wasn't intended to be THAT but right after I had a bit of writers block and closed the file, I thought it would be funny if I put that down . . . I told some of my friends on MSN and they said I SHOULD put it down . . . so I did! O_O; uh . . . blame them? ^__^;  
  
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\/ I need ideas people! IDEAS! *Dies* 


	8. Entry 8: Hair

Hey guys, I'm in a bit of a writing spree and got some ideas for this chapter so I'm writing it! YAY! But it's only some ideas . . . New story! Well, actually it's the sequel to 'SIT!' Please go read and review! Here's the story ID: 1740143  
  
Also, I bought Yu Yu Hakusho manga first volume! YAY! But it was to be continued to volume 2 but volume 2 ISN'T OUT YET!!! Here anyways . . . or maybe it just isn't selling around my area! I can't order it online because it's . . . bad?? Bah -_-; I'll just imagine what happens.  
  
RainOwl: YAY! You are in this chapter! For being the 50th reviewer! Yes, I finally have something for you to do -_-; yeah . . . okay, I'm done now  
  
Life's Light/anime*angel: YAY! NO MISTAKIES FOR ME!!! Wait, was that a mistake? Err Bakura smiles a lot because he is a very insane person/spirit/whatever the heck he is! THERE ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!?!?  
  
Sharpie Marker 666: I made up a word?? What??? You confuse me! STUPID SMART PEOPLE! Was that an oxymoron? No, wait, I'm a moron . . .  
  
Dreammaster2411: O_O THOSE ARE EXCELLENT IDEAS!!! I MUST USE THEM!!! *Runs to her refrigerator and pushes the lever that makes ice come out* TALK TO ME OH GREAT ONES!!!!  
  
Thanks to those who I haven't replied to:  
  
Nerva al'Thor  
  
Nicki  
  
Syra Lebru  
  
Sparklypiggy  
  
Kuramaandhiei4ever  
  
I'm not going to re-write and re-post the first 4 chapters. Why? I'm lazy, that's why! HAH! Oh good news for RainOwl! She shall be in today's chapter for being the 50th reviewer! FINALLY! I got an idea for her to be in here . . . I don't know how she looks like in real life so . . . I'm not going to describe her features ^_^; try and find her and you get . . . nothing. Because I'm going to tell you anyways at the end.  
  
So . . . everyone knows what Bakura REALLY gave Ryou . . . right??  
  
Disclaimer: darkshaow-23 doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Isn't that also painfully obvious?! If she did, all of this would be happening to Bakura. There, I said it.  
  
~  
  
I'm walking back to Ryou's house right now.  
  
I was just at Marik's, I apologized about that book and asked for it back. But it turns out that Marik has decided to learn how to read and promises that the first thing he will read is the World Book Encyclopaedia (3rd Edition). I just wanted the book back!  
  
But I left without it to duck a beating from Isis. IT'S SPIRIT ABUSE! Millennium item spirit abuse.  
  
Hmmmmm . . . the door's unlocked. Usually it is locked so thieves won't rob us. And it prevents me from robbing other houses. Poo.  
  
EEP! Who's that! There's someone in Ryou's house! He's turned around so I'm seeing his back and he's got his hair tied up. HOW DARE HE BREAK INTO RYOU'S HOUSE?! IT WAS LOCKED!!! HE CAN ROB US AND WE CAN'T ROB OTHER PEOPLE?!?!?! UNFAIR!!!!  
  
I pick up a broom that is conveniently placed near the front door, run over to the guy and start whacking him with it.  
  
"HOW DARE YOU BREAK INTO RYOU'S HOUSE YOU THIEF! PREPARE TO DIE!!!"  
  
WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!!!! I feel kind of bad about saying that actually, after all, I am also a thief. The King of Thieves to be exact.  
  
"STOP! STOP HITTING ME! IT'S ME, BAKURA!!!!"  
  
"NO YOU LIAR! _I'M_ BAKURA! HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?!?!? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO RYOU??"  
  
"NO YOU FREAKING BLOODY LUNATIC! I'M RYOU!"  
  
"RYOU?!?!?!? YOU FOOL!!!! HOW _DARE_ YOU EAT RYOU! BY THE SEVEN HELLS, I SHALL KILL YOU AND AVENGE HIS DEATH!!!!!"  
  
Before I can kill him, the crazy Ryou eating thief knees me in the stomach.  
  
"EEEEEEEE! I HAVE AN OWIE!!!!!!"  
  
The pain. Oh, the pain. The crazy Ryou eating thief turns around and it's . . . "RYOU?!?!?!"  
  
Ryou's right eyebrow is twitching. That means he's mad . . . hey, at least he's not disappointed . . . right . . .?  
  
"I. Am. Going. To. Kill. YOU!!!!" Ryou grabs the broom that I dropped when he kneed me and starts whacking me with it.  
  
"NOOOOO! MORE OWIES!!!!"  
  
~ About half an hour later ~  
  
Ryou FINALLY stops abusing me and falls on the couch looking very tired.  
  
HE'S tired??? I was getting beaten non-stop for half an hour!!!! Crazy . . . British . . . guy . . . I'm blaming all those seedless onions he eats!  
  
"You're such a moron Bakura! I just tie my hair up and then I'm a robber?? Jeeze!"  
  
"How was I supposed to know it was you? I've never seen you with your hair up!"  
  
"I tie up my hair EVERY weekend!! That's when I clean up the house and don't want my hair swishing around everywhere. And do you see bleached blondes that have almost completely white hair walking around Domino everyday???"  
  
I choose not to answer and do the next best thing, stick out my tongue :)  
  
"GGRRRRRRR! THAT'S IT! NOW I'M MAD!!!"  
  
"Weren't you mad when you were abusing me with that broom . . .?"  
  
Ryou grabs the collar of my shirt and then tosses me outside with ease. How did he get so strong?? "DON'T COME BACK UNTIL YOU APOLPGIZE!!!" And then he slams the door.  
  
~  
  
I've been wandering around for the past 2 hours, I know Ryou. I could've apologized right away but that wouldn't work. He'd have to have calmed down before I can really apologize and THEN he would really forgive me.  
  
I was JUST protecting his house from thieves! And I was going to avenge his death too! No consideration! And after that gift I gave him too! Hmmppfffff!  
  
Where am I? I recognize this place! It's where Ryou goes and borrow books. The 'lib-er-ary'.  
  
Gods I'm hungry. And I can't go back to Ryou it's only been 2 hours!!! He might still be mad. He kicked me out of the house so he must be madder than usual . . .  
  
"NNNOOOO!!! ANOTHER OWIE!!!!" I guess I was just standing there spacing out in front of the 'lib-er-ary' so someone bumped into me.  
  
"Oh I'm sorry! Are you o- EEEEEE!!!!" A feminine scream . . . Better not be the Pharaoh's Slave's Friend!!  
  
"GGGGAAAHHHHH!!!!" I'm being abused again! The girl – not the Pharaoh's Slave's Friend - is hitting me with books!  
  
"IT BURNS! STOP ABUSING ME YOU CRAZY WITCH!!!"  
  
"THERE'S A BAT IN YOUR HAIR!!!"  
  
"WHAT THE BLOODY HELLS IS A 'BAT'???" Wow, I'm learning to curse like Ryou! He is a bad influence!  
  
The crazy girl suddenly stops. "Wow, what a coincidence! I'm doing a science project on bats!" She sticks her books in my face. On one of them there is a picture of a rat/pig thing with wings. Creepy.  
  
"IT'S STILL IN YOUR HAIR!!!" She points at my hair. I poke where she is pointing at and glare at her.  
  
"THOSE ARE MY BANGS!!!"  
  
"Oh . . . why are your bangs shaped like bat wings???"  
  
"THEY ARE NOT BAT WINGS!!! THEY ARE HORNS OF THE DEVIL!!!!!"  
  
She snorts at me. "'Horns of the Devil?' You're insane! And after I try to save you from a poisonous bat that tried to eat your brain . . . !" She walks away muttering about rude and inconsiderate people.  
  
"GGGGRRRR!!!! I NEVER NEEDED YOUR HELP!!! JUST BECAUSE MY HAIR IS DIFFERENT AND YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE!!"  
  
Wow, that seems familiar! OH! Just like what I did to Ryou . . . I was just trying to help . . . That is so ironic! And both scenarios have to do with our hair! And we look almost the same! And we know each other! And um . . . we both have the Millennium Ring! And . . . so on.  
  
I look at the building that can be seen everywhere with that big clock on it and it has been an hour already? About 3 hours since Ryou kicked me out. I guess it's about time to go back and apologize! I have to tell Lloyd what happened! I left him back at home . . . I HOPE RYOU DIDN'T ABUSE HIM AS WELL!!!  
  
~  
  
"Oh, alright! I forgive you Bakura. But next time THINK THINGS THROUGH before you do something . . . although it might be hard for you . . ." Ryou mutters the last part out but I manage to catch it. Eh? What does he mean by that??  
  
I then tell him about the girl who abused me so he'll know that I'm REALLY sorry.  
  
"Hmmmm . . . actually I think you DO need a haircut . . ."  
  
"WHAT?!?! NO! DO NOT SHAVE MY HEAD!!"  
  
"I won't shave your HEAD! Only your HAIR! Don't be silly!" Ryou laughs like a crazy maniac that wants hair for his mad experiments! MAD!!!  
  
"No! YOU need a hair cut! NOT ME!!!"  
  
Ryou pouts. "Nu-uh! I had it cut last week! You NEVER pay attention to ANYTHING!"  
  
"Really?? Looks the same to me . . ."  
  
"I only had it trimmed . . . and my hair grows fast! ^__^"  
  
"-_-; what's the point then? Sounds like money wasting to me . . ."  
  
Ryou glares at me this time. "Okay, if you don't want me to waste money _I_ can shave your hair!" UH OH!!! Ryou's got that evil glint in his eyes!!! AND HE'S SMIRKING!!! THE TERROR!  
  
"NNNOOOO! DO NOT TOUCH MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!!! HAIR ABUSE! HAIR ABUSE!!!"  
  
I run away screaming.  
  
"It won't be that bad! I used to work in a pet parlour with my Auntie in Britain on 'Go to Work with Your Auntie Day'!!!!!"  
  
Ryou starts running after me.  
  
"NO! I SHALL NOT BE ONE OF YOUR CRAZY ANIMAL HAIR CUTTING EXPERIMENTS YOU CRAZY SCIENTIST PERSON!!!"  
  
"I'm actually pretty good! I shaved a cat before!! Sure it died the next day from blood poisoning, but it was just a coincidence!!!! BBBAAAKKKKKUUURRRAAAAAA!!!!"  
  
"NOOOOOO! LEAVE ME ALONE! I DO NOT WANT TO DIE – AGAIN!" WAIT!!! RYOU KILLED A CAT?!?!?!?!  
  
"BBBBBBAAAAAAKKKKKUUUUURRRRAAAA!!! STOP RUNNING! I'll just give you a quick trim! I PROMISE!!!"  
  
"I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU!! YOU KILLED A CAT! WE EGYTIANS HONOUR CATS AND YOU KILL THEM!!! YOU ARE NOT THE RYOU I KNOW!!!!!"  
  
"Come back Bakura! IT'LL BE OKAY!!!!"  
  
"NNNNEEEEEEVVVVEEEEERRRR!!!!"  
  
~  
  
I don't know how I wrote all that! Took some time, it did. I don't know how I made the connection with the Ryou's hair being tied up thing and the girl trying to save Bakura thing . . . I just kind of realized it while I was writing and just added it in!!!  
  
The girl was RainOwl in case you people didn't know okay? I made it to 5 pages! I think this chapter was a half about hair and half about abuse . . . but the chapter title labelled as 'Abuse' is kind of . . . weird . . . -_- ; Like me! A chapter labelled 'Hair' is also weird . . . GAH! The last part of the fic was mostly about wasting time!!! The only ideas I made for this chapter was Ryou's hair getting tied up and Bakura thinking it was a thief that ate Ryou and the part where the girl thinks there is a bat in Bakura's hair and tried to get it out . . . I decided to make the whacking object a book because you really can't find a broom in the middle of the street . . . but I think I could've made that happen anyways! ^_^  
  
I got a question: In manga volume 4 for Yu-Gi-Oh! Bakura keeps saying 'KUKUKUKUKUKUKU' to Ryou. WHAT THE HECK IS HE SAYING?!??! Please inform me if you know what it means! And if anyone has Yu Yu Hakusho Volume 2 can you give me the summary?? At least I can GUESS what happens . . . 


	9. Entry 9: Nightmare

I should really be doing my English essay right now . . . but it's my birthday today so I don't care! ^__^ I forgot how I got this idea actually, but today anime*angel and I were talking online about Kaiba's arm who swings his arm around like spaghetti a lot and remembered my idea about this idea so . . . yeah . . . it doesn't have anything to do with spaghetti so I have no idea how I remembered my . . . idea . . . yes  
  
Reviews to be answered:  
  
Goddess-Of-Anime: It's not a box . . . it's a package! And I've never seen a box/package of . . . you-know-what . . . I have seen it on 'Friends' before when Joey took like 30 out and checked it O_O;  
  
KuramaandHiei4ever: I've only read one volume and I'm a fan ^__^ I read some others but I only have the 1st volume . . . some big monster who eats children's souls and has this shiny ball . . . LIKE LLOYD!!! IT COULD BE LLOYD! NNNNOOOOO!!! LLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYDDDDDD!!!!  
  
Dreammaster2411: Yeah I figured it was laughing . . . but I was hoping it was some Egyptian . . . thing . . . Ancient Egyptian spirits are weird  
  
Life's Light/anime*angel: Um, that's what I said! Well, kind of. I said the last part was about wasting time and space ^__^ don't I just have the greatest writing skills?!  
  
To the rest of you . . . people . . .:  
  
Nerva al'Thor  
  
Rain Owl  
  
Sparklypiggy  
  
Ryou Bakura Obsessor  
  
Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru  
  
Disclaimer: darkshadow-23 doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Not even on her birthday. Unless someone gives her the copyright for a present, which you shouldn't do because she'd mess everything up and Yu-Gi-Oh! Will be cancelled forever. So don't do it. Seriously. She's dumb.  
  
~  
  
I finally got Ryou out of my hair. Literally. He's insane I tell you! He wanted to shave my head and take the hair to knit a scarf. A _SCARF_! Can you believe that?!?! A bald Tomb Robber wearing his own hair as a _SCARF_. Gods, that's so wrong.  
  
I'm currently cooking him breakfast. So he will think I'm the best Yami ever and forget all about this . . . hair = scarf business. British people and their scarves! Back in Egypt we never had any scarves, it'll be so hot we'd . . . be hot . . .  
  
"BAKURA?!? Are you . . . *twitches* cooking *twitches*?" Ryou comes in to the kitchen and starts twitching in a steady rhythm.  
  
"Yes! And I made your favourite! LITTLE GREEN TREES!!!"  
  
Ryou sweat drops. "Little green trees? You must mean broccoli. I don't like broccoli Bakura! I like cauliflower! Yuuuuuummmm . . . cauliflower . . ." Ryou start drooling. Yuck, how uncivilized.  
  
"OH MY BLOODY GOD! THERE'S SALSA ON THIS!!! SALSA?!?!? IN MY HOUSE!?!?!?" Ryou starts to flap his arms around screaming about crazy salsa taking over the world.  
  
I watch in bewilderment as Ryou runs to the door, opens it and is about to run out – when he sees – THE PHARAOH!!! What in Ra's name is he doing here?!  
  
"HIYA Ryou!" I could HEAR his giddiness coming from his voice as I walked quickly towards Ryou and that Pharaoh.  
  
I run it just in time. "I heard you wanted to learn to Salsa, Bakura! I CAN TEACH YOU!" Before I can react the Pharaoh starts dancing with his imaginary salsa dancing partner.  
  
"OH MY GOD!!!! SALSA HAS TAKEN OVER!!!" Ryou screams. He grabs the lamp located near our front door and chucks it at the Pharaoh.  
  
"What the f-" The Pharaoh gets hit by the lamp and passes out.  
  
"Good job Ryou! The Pharaoh has finally been slain!" I start to do my victory dance.  
  
"I KILLED HIM! I KILLED YAMI!!! YUGI WILL _NEVER_ FORGIVE ME!!" Ryou runs over to the Pharaoh and starts shaking him. "Wake up Yami! WAKE UP! OH NO! I'M KILLING HIM MORE!!!" Ryou faints.  
  
"Ah, shit," I curse. I drag Ryou by the armpits into the house. Good thing he uses deodorant.  
  
"RYOU! RA DAMMIT WAKE UP!" I scream and start shaking him like he did with the Pharaoh.  
  
Ryou wakes up and grabs my shoulders. He has a VERY scary look in his eyes. "I AM NOT A NUMBER! I AM A NOUN!!!!!!!!!!!" And . . . he faints. -_-;  
  
"Come one Ryou! I made you breakfast! You can't die until you eat that! I HATE VEGETABLES!"  
  
Suddenly Lloyd rolls down the stairs and bumps into my legs. "What? How'd that happen?"  
  
"Don't worry! I have a doctor's permit! I'll save him!" I've NEVER heard that voice before.  
  
"Who the hell is that?! How dare you break into Ryou's house!?"  
  
"Aw come on! You know me! I'm Lloyd!" I look down in horror and see Lloyd GRINNING at me! HE HAS A FACE AND EVERYTHING!! "LLOYD?!?!?!?"  
  
Lloyd grins at me. "Actually my name is Bill. Bill Bob Billy. Catchy eh?"  
  
I continue to stare in surprise when Ryou gets conscious again. "SO MANY SENTENCE FRAGMENTS!!!! EVEN THAT WAS ONE! YOU NEED VERBS PEOPLE!!! VERBS!!!!!!!" Ryou passes out AGAIN.  
  
"Gods Ryou, make up your mind!"  
  
"I am a qualified doctor! NEVER FEAR!! BOBBY BILLY BOB IS HERE!"  
  
"I thought your name was Bill Bob Billy!"  
  
"Wow, really? I get confused a lot . . . got to get that birth certificate fixed up!"  
  
DING! DONG! DING! DONG! DING! THE LOIN SLEEPS TONIGHT! DONG!  
  
WTF?! Something wrong's wit the doorbell . . . "Erm, wait here uh, _Bob_ I need to get that . . ."  
  
"Gotcha, I'll be here fixing up old Ryou! He's got quite a bump here, yes sire."  
  
O_O; I practically run to the door hopefully someone useful is there . . . "RYOU! WHY'S YAMI DEAD ON YOUR FRONT YARD?!?!?!"  
  
Damn it to hell! It's the Pharaoh's Slave. "Listen here you little-"  
  
"Never mind Ryou! I have a confession, I LURVE YOU!!!" The brat raises his arms like he's going to hug me so I quickly slam the door in his face. "OWIE! MY NOSE! DON'T WORRY RYOU! I'LL WAIT FOR YOU!!! I KNOW YOU NEED TIME!! I'LL GO BUY YOU CHOCOLATES RIGHT NOW!!!!"  
  
I listen to his footstep fade away until I'm ready to go back to the living room. But then someone knocks. "WHAT THE FU-" IT'S THAT BLOODY GIRL! The Pharaoh's Slave's Friend -_-;.  
  
"RYOU!" She cries happily. "I have a big secret that I can only trust YOU with!"  
  
"Oh no! Not another confession please!"  
  
"I'm actually a guy!" O_O; way too much information!!! "But . . . but . . . you . . ." My jaw hangs there like a swing. The girl . . . err, BOY . . . pulls some BREAD out of her shirt.  
  
"I'm so glad that's off my chest! Well, for two reasons if you catch my drift! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
"OH MY GOD! KILL ME NOW!!!!" I run pass her, grab the Pharaoh's body and starts whacking it with her. "Wow, what happened to YOU, Yami?"  
  
"DDDDDDDIIIIIIIIEEEE!!!" I chuck the body at her and run back into the house.  
  
"Gee, he's got quite some thing growing out of his head here!" I heard Bill say. I took a peek into the living room and see A CUP GROWING FROM THE BACK OF RYOU'S HEAD. A CUP. A BLOODY TEA CUP GROWING FROM RYOU'S HEAD. And the creepiest thing is THERE IS TEA IN IT and BILL IS DRINKING THE TEA FROM THE CUP THAT IS GROWING FROM RYOU'S HEAD.  
  
"WHEN WILL IT END?!?!?!" I yell. GGGGGGRRRRRRR!!! THE DOORBELL IS RINGING AGAIN!!! I'M GOING TO KILL WHOEVER IS OVER THAT DOOR!!  
  
"Marik?!?! OH RA! I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU! THE BRAT LIKES RYOU AND THE BRAT'S FRIEND IS A GUY AND THE PHARAOH IS KILLED BY THE HANDS OF MY HIKARI!!!!"  
  
"Uh, that's nice Bakura. But I'm here to see Bill."  
  
"BILL?!?!? HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT BILL?!?!?"  
  
I hear bouncing then see Bill. "You called? Oh hi Marik! Here for our date?"  
  
Marik is BLUSHING. AND HE'S DATING A BALL NAMED BILL. WHO I STOLE FROM A KID. "Well by Bakura! I'll be sure to bring it back by 6!" SO IT'S AN IT HUH?!?!?  
  
I finally snap out of it but Marik and . . . Bill . . . are already gone! "NNNOOO! WAIT!!! I NEED YOUR HELP!!"  
  
"RYOU! RYOU! I need to confess something!" Oh no, it's that brown-haired freak! "PLEASE DON'T LURVE RYOU!!! DON'T BE A GUY! DON'T HAVE A CUP STICKING OUT OF YOUR BUTT!! ACTUALLY, BE A GUY!!!" The guy stares at me funny. "Erm, actually my confession is that I have a knife in my hair and that's why it's all pointy and I accidentally stabbed Seto Kaiba! Now his reincarnation and Mokuba are after me!"  
  
Suddenly the black-haired kid came running up to street . . . or is it DOWN the street? WE DON'T KNOW!!! Anyways, I remember him because I tried to steal his body once. "SETO!! I CHOOSE YOU!!" The kid throws a POKEBALL on the ground?!?!? A pikachu pops out and with the High Priest's voice he says, "HOW DARE YOU KILL ME WITH YOUR HAIR!! I'LL THINDERSHOCK YOU TO HELL!!!"  
  
There's a giant flash of light coming from its cheeks and I pass out.  
  
~  
  
I wake up hours (I think) later in my own bed. It feels like I had a million hangovers in 4 seconds . . . AH! I REMEMBER EVERYTHING NOW!!  
  
"RRRRRYYYYOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!!!" I yell as I run downstairs to the living room. He's conscious! And reading a glamour magazine?! Oh Ra!  
  
"What? Leave me alone Bakura! Unless you want that head full of hair gone and a brand new scarf . . ." He chuckles insanely, while I realize that he has no cup growing form his head! YAY!!!  
  
"Bakura . . . are you . . . okay . . . ?" Ryou backs away to the kitchen. "I'll just go . . . make dinner for us . . ."  
  
I forgive him for his behaviour he just recovered from a cup growing from his head . . . poor guy. I jump onto the couch and pressed the speed dial for 'Yugi' which is code for 'Brat'.  
  
"Hoho, Game shop, how may I help you?"  
  
"I NEED TO TALK TO THE BR- Erm . . . YUGI!"  
  
"Alrighty then, hoho!" Stupid old man . . .  
  
"^__^ Hello! Yugi speaking! ^__^" So much cheeriness in his voice . . . I shudder involuntarily.  
  
"BRAT! IS THE PHARAOH DEAD BY GETTING HIT BY A LAMP?!?!?"  
  
"Bakura . . .?? Erm, no Yami's very much alive . . . especially from all those chocolates he ate!" I sense annoyance in his voice . . . WAIT! Chocolate!  
  
"WAIT!! DO YOU 'LURVE' RYOU?!?!"  
  
"Lurve? Uh, I'm pretty sure I don't," he says uncomfortably.  
  
"YYYYYYYYYEEEEAHHHHH!!!!!!" I scream happily and slam the phone down.  
  
Then I press another button that said 'Tea' on it. I never liked that drink.  
  
"Hello, Tea speaking."  
  
"ARE YOU A MAN?!?!!?"  
  
"O_O; What?!? I AM NOT!" She slams the phone down and I cheer again.  
  
This time I dial the number. "MARIK! ARE YOU DATING ANYONE/ANYTHING?!"  
  
"Eh? Bakura? No I'm not . . . BUT I AM EATING DATES! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" -_-; Yup, that's the Marik I know.  
  
"Okay then . . . You should tell that joke to Isis, she's love it."  
  
"That's a great idea! I'll do it right now! ^__^" He hangs up. Ra, he has the same attitude as the brat!  
  
I press another button and hopefully it's the knife boy's number. "Hello, Tristan here."  
  
"IS THERE A KNIFE IN YOUR HAIR?!?!? DID YOU KILL SETO KAIBA?!?!"  
  
"Not ANOTHER prank call, you stupid 5th graders!" He hangs up.  
  
I'll take that as a 'no'. Wow, Ryou has the rich guy's number too! I press the button.  
  
"Seto Kaiba," said a gruff voice. "SETO KAIBA!! DID YOU DIE BY GETTING STABBED BY SHARP HAIR AND REINCARNATED INTO A PIKACHU?!?!?!?"  
  
"Go to hell Bakura." He hangs up. Darn, he has caller I.D.! I should prank call him less!  
  
Well, all of that must be a dream! A crazy silly dream! Thank Ra . . .  
  
Wow, it's 6 o'clock already? Ryou should be done with dinner . . . What . . . WHAT'S THAT?!??!  
  
I run to the window and look outside to see . . . MARIK SMOOCHING WITH LLOYD! I mean . . . BILL?!?!?  
  
They walk up to the front door and before they can knock I force the door open.  
  
"Heh, I told you I'll bring it back by 6!" Marik says.  
  
I faint.  
  
~  
  
Originally, my idea was that Ryou hated broccoli (no salsa was involved at the time) and ran out side to see Yami dancing, then he faints and gets dragged back inside . . . the rest just . . . happened! It's really weird! My idea was Bakura having a strange dream but this was just . . . strange =P  
  
I'm kind of scared of how it turned out! I'm very weird!!! And I don't own ANYTHING especially Pokemon!! I haven't watched that thing for . . . ever . . . but we have the game and were randomly playing it so . . . I added it in! Heh. 6 pages . . . 6 o'clock. Um, spare some ideas would you all? I'll dedicate the chapter to you if you do! I'm going to re-read all the reviews tomorrow ^_^  
  
Things to Consider In This Chapter:  
  
Also read 'Ryou Bakura's Birthday Special!' it's about Bakura and Yami's . . . cooking . . . It's an older fic but it explains why Ryou is so scared of his cooking! And it's my birthday today! SO READ AND REVIEW!  
  
And in the manga, Grandpa keeps saying 'hoho' . . . and Seto Kaiba was the High Priest back in Egypt.  
  
The 5th grader thing? I used to prank call Pizza Hut with my friend ordering 2 slices of pizza ^_^ except I think it was 6th grade.  
  
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\/ I JUST REALIZED! My birth time was around 6!!! O_O; Review me a present!!! 


	10. Entry 10: Cupcake

Hey guys! I think that people are scared that I'm a year older because I got less reviews last chapter . . . HAH! I'M OLDER THAN SOME PEOPLE! But I'm shorter than everyone else ;_; *Chucks a cup of syrup down her throat* BETTER!  
  
I'm going to start from the people who reviewed first this time, I think it's fairer since I'm lazy and answer reviews from people that review most recently:  
  
KurammaandHiei4ever: Thanks! That might come in handy . . . but I'm anti- social so when I do e-mail you I'll sound really awkward @_@ Actually the boy that owned Lloyd before already came back and tried to get Lloyd back! It was on chapter 6. And it's not technically kidnapping since it was his on the first place! Also, it's BILL but don't worry I get confused too . . . So many March birthdays . . . well, Spring is a good season to be born! ^_^ Kurama has red hair?! Gosh, well, I guess since he's a fox spirit he has reddish brown hair I guess -_-;  
  
Life's Light/anime*angel: It's Bill Bob Billy!!! Not Billy Bob Bill! Aw, don't worry about it I get confused also! And I wrote it O.o; well, it explains why Tea has no friends who are girls and hangs out with guys all the time . . . and guys are . . . annoying?? I would rather spend time with a guy then her . . . lousy friendship speeches!  
  
Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru: HI! Are you a reviewer from 'No Sanity Allowed'? I have such bad memory! Anyways, the new version of NSA is up so if you would review the chapters, that would be nice ^_^ Does hyperb mean the same as hyper? Or is it a too? Lousy dictionary!  
  
Dictionary: ME?!? USE YOUR BRAIN FOR ONCE YOU GORMLESS FOOL!  
  
O_o; Uh . . . Thanks to others who have reviewed:  
  
RainOwl  
  
BakaNeko-Chan  
  
Evil-Rubber Duck  
  
Nerva al'Thor  
  
I got this weird idea for this chapter while I was brushing my hair a couple of mornings ago. And it soon developed into something really weird. But it was weird in the first place. Isn't that weird?  
  
Disclaimer: darkshadow-23 doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh! And I've been insulting her all the time. But no one seems to care and kinds of enjoys the insults. See, even her dictionary hates her. How wonder she doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh!  
  
~  
  
I've been scared ever since to go to sleep. Fearing the dreams that haunt me from the depths of my imagination, yes, I sound deep. I can be poetic! Was that poetic? Oh well, I ruined the moment anyways.  
  
I cautiously poke Lloyd – or Bill Bob Billy - before stepping out of my room. I'm still unsure if it/he is really real. I phoned Marik about this many times and he keeps denying that he is in a relationship with Lloyd (or Bill) and ends the conversation with a corny joke.  
  
Before I know it I'm in the kitchen. My stomach must've guided me here.  
  
"Finally you're up Bak'a!" Ryou has developed the annoying habit of giving me this annoying nickname.  
  
You know when some people shorten words? Like they turn "are not" into "aren't" by taking the 'o' out and replacing it with an apostrophe? Well, Ryou shorten my name by taking out the 'ur' out from 'Bakura' and now my name is 'Bak'a' I think it means something in Japanese but I'm not sure. I never cared for that language.  
  
"Have you slept yet? It was just a dream, don't be silly - cupcake!" Did he just call me cupcake?! I'LL KICK IS AS- oh, no he's just found a cupcake -_- ; WAIT! WHERE'S MY CUPCAKE?!?!?  
  
I chuck some breakfast food with strange metal and plastic mechanisms. One of them is called a 'spork' I believe.  
  
DING! DONG! DING! DONG!  
  
At least the doorbell is back to normal. There wasn't that annoying song in it about lions sleeping like in my dream.  
  
Ryou bounces slowly to the front door. I mean really slowly. What's up with that?!  
  
I hear some Ryou talking to someone in the front door. If it's Yami doing the salsa then my dream was a prophecy!  
  
Ryou comes back out with The Pharaoh's Slave. I was close right? But he isn't knocked out nor dead and there's no cup growing out of Ryou's head. All is safe . . . for now . . .  
  
"CUPCAKE!" The brat looks at me delighted. I'LL KICK HIS AS- Oh; he spotted a cupcake -_-; WHERE THE HELL ARE ALL THESE CUPCAKES COMING FROM?! AND WHY CAN'T I GET ONE?!  
  
Anyhow, while the brat pigs out on his stupid meaningless cupcake that I wouldn't ever want, Ryou tells me that 'Yugi' wants out help.  
  
"Who the in the underworlds is Yugi?!" I said, very irritated that my breakfast meal was interrupted.  
  
"I am!" The stupid little brat looks hurt. "What do you want kid?" I really want a cupcake!  
  
"IT'S TERRIBLE! Yami keeps doing the salsa! IT LOOKS SO WRONG!!!" The brat sobs as he continues to eat his cupcake. MUST HE TORTURE ME?!  
  
"SALSA?!?!? How dare him! IT'S MY DESTINY TO BE THE KING OF SALSA!!! He'll ruin everything!"  
  
"Oh no! Not this salsa thing again! NO MORE SALSA! PLEASE!!!" Ryou start sobbing along with the brat as well . . . WHILE HE'S EATING A CUPCAKE!!! =( Bakura is sad!  
  
"I'LL GO KICK HIS ASS!" YAY! I finally get to actually say the word. I jump out an opened window and run down the street (OR IS IT UP THE STREET?!?!? I mean, who just DECIDED that North was up? WHAT IF WEST WAS UP HUH?!?!? WHAT ABOUT THAT?! THE WHOLE UNIVERSE CAN BE IN REVERSE!!! WE COULD BE SPEAKING BACKWARDS FOR ALL WE FRUGGING KNOW!!!). I suddenly realize I don't know where the brat lives.  
  
I usually just follow Ryou around and I'd eventually get there. Maybe I should use that Mind-Link thingy the Pharaoh and his Slave is always going on about. I never really cared about Ryou thought.  
  
~CUPCAKES!!!!~  
  
Okay . . . let's forget about that ingenious idea and move on to my other nifty idea, asking Ryou in person. Ra, I'm smart.  
  
~  
  
"He's in there!" The brat whispers. He kinds of wheezes at the end, stretching the word a bit. Ryou and the brat starts to giggle. There was so much sugar in the cupcake.  
  
"Are ya gonna kick his aaaasssssssssssssssss Bak'a? Are ya?" Ryou said a naughty word! Aw, well, I'll just blame the seedless onions. ALWAYS THE SEEDLESS ONIONS!  
  
"Ooooohhhh! Ryou called you baka! Are you gonna take that from him? Huh?" The both started giggling again.  
  
I sweat drop. Just blame the seedless onions, I remind myself. Ryou must have given the brat some. OR MAYBE HE BAKED IT INTO THOSE CUPCAKES! I'm going to stick to muffins from now on!  
  
I open the door – THREATENINGLY mind you. "It's rude to not knock Bak'a!" Ryou chucks something at me. JUST BLAME THE SEEDLESS ONIONS AND TWITCH!!!  
  
I freeze at the doorway in horror. THE PHARAOH IS DOING THE SALSA!!! THE SALSA!!! THERE HE FRUGGING IS SWINGING HIMSELF AROUND LIKE A FRUGGING SALSA DANCER!!! RA FORBIDS IT!!  
  
"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!! SSSSSSSAAAAAAALLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSSAAAAAA!" The two wimps run screaming down the stairs.  
  
"TOMB ROBBER! What have you done to Yugi?!" The Pharaoh stopped dancing! THANK RA!  
  
"Who the hell is this 'Yugi' everyone keep mentioning?"  
  
I hear footsteps thundering up the stairs and I see that brat again behind me.  
  
"I'M YUGI YOU AAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!" He chucks something at me and runs back down the stairs. Stupid brat!  
  
"YOU TAUGHT YUGI A NAUGHTY WORD!!"  
  
"YOU WERE DOING THE SALSA! THEIR INNOCENT EYES HAVE BEEN TAINTED WITH YOUR EVIL!!!"  
  
We stay silent for a while. "So . . ."  
  
"Yeah . . ."  
  
". . . "  
  
"Uh, I noticed both our Lights hate anything associated with salsa. What's up with that?"  
  
"So the tomb robber isn't that stupid after all . . ."  
  
"SHUDDUP!"  
  
"You see, a couple of hundreds of thousands of years ago, some dudes, found the Millennium items and created the salsa dance! That's why we, Yami's, turned to love the art of anything associated with salsa, and some how, the people cursed the future holders with Yamis to hate the art of salsa for some reason."  
  
"That makes no sense! I thought salsa was created in many places of the world! Like everyone who does the dance move around to other parts of the world and blends the dance with other cultures dances!"  
  
". . . Shuddup." Stupid Pharaoh! He stole my word.  
  
"And what about Marik? He knows about my dream to be a salsa dancer and he doesn't seem to care much!"  
  
"Well, Marik doesn't have a Yami that came from the Millennium Rod! His Yami was created within himself."  
  
Stupid Pharaoh always being such a smart ass.  
  
"Don't worry about that anymore, - cupcake!" DID THE PHARAOH JUST CALL ME CUPCAKE?!?!? I'LL KICK IS AS- I stop in mid thought as the Pharaoh dives past me and I whip around to see him nibbling on a cupcake. DAMMIT!  
  
~  
  
Stupid Pharaoh and his stupid cupcakes! Now where is Ryou? We have to go home . . .  
  
"YYYYYYOOOOUUU AAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! HOW DARE YOU FORGET MY NAME!?!?!?!?!?" CRIPES! IT'S THE PHARAOH'S SLAVE AGAIN!!! Wait, did I just say 'cripes'?!  
  
"AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!" WHERE DID THAT BRAT GET THAT KNIFE?!??!!?!?  
  
"YOU GET HIM YUGI! KICK HIS AAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!" DAMMIT! Ryou's supposed to be on MY side!!  
  
"TRAITOR!!! RYOU!! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!!! AND HELP ME OUT!!!"  
  
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! SLICE HIS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSS YUGI!!!"  
  
That brats swinging the knife around and chasing me around the room!  
  
"What's all this commotion?! YUGI?!?!?!?" Damn! Now that Pharaoh is here! He'll never let me live this down! After all, I AM getting chased by his Hikari with a knife!  
  
"PUT THAT DOWN YUGI! IT'S A SHARP OBJECT!! IT'S WORSE THAN A SCISSOR!!!" Now the Pharaoh is chasing his slave around trying to get that knife out of his hands.  
  
"YAMI!! JUST LET ME SLICE HIS AAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS!!!"  
  
"LEAVE MY BUTT ALONE!!!!"  
  
*~SLASH!!!~*  
  
-  
  
Yeah, that slash was the sound of Yugi's knife slashing something . . . is that a cliff hanger? Probably not! GUESS WHAT YUGI SLASHED!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHHA! Actually, I'm not sure what he slashed . . . OR DO I?!?!? Anyways if you guess right . . . you get a cupcake . . . not a real cupcake . . . but I DO have some muffins in my refrigerator!  
  
Yup, I made up that Bakura = Bak'a thing ^_^ AREN'T I SMART?!?! You can use that if you want to too, but you have to e-mail me so I can give you the okay, okay? My e-mail is somewhere in my fanfiction bio. Yeah, 'frug' is my new swear! DOES ANYONE LIKE IT?!?! I made it up in gym class. Yes, Ryou thinks about CUPCAKES a lot, so the Mind-Link is usually useless. I don't know much about salsa history, I went to some sites but they were NO HELP!!  
  
I HATE THAT DVD SHOP!!! I WANT VCDS!!! NOT DVDS!!! Darn . . . I ALMOST GOT THAT KENSHIN MOVIE!! SO CLOSE!!! I don't have a DVD player ;_; but I bought this month's Shonen Jump Magazine! THE WORLD'S MOST POPULAR MANGA!!! It says April instead of March though . . . Did we skip a month or what?! Anyways, it's pretty good!  
  
Any ideas for the next chapter? SUGGESTIONS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME!!!  
  
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\/ I hope people actually read the stuff before and after the actual stories! MY AUTHORESS NOTES ARE IMPORTANT TOO!! *Runs away crying* 


	11. Entry 11: Batman

I'm here again. I guess I don't really have writer's block! I got these two ideas for this one chapter. *Nods* I'm so special! . . . Or maybe I'm just lucky. I bet the title for this chapter is freaking you out . . . just read it . . .  
  
Kuramaandhiei4ever: YES! YOU ARE RIGHT! Now, you are the owner of a brand new CUPCAKE!!! Not a real cupcake of course! Just get on google or some other search site and type in cupcake! You'll find a picture of a cupcake and that's good enough! ^__^ Yeah you're right! KURAma and BaKURA!!!  
  
Crawford: CONGRADULATIONS!!! YOU ARE THE 100th REVIEWER!!! And today, you will be in this chapter! GOOD FOR YOU!!!  
  
Thanks to others who have reviewed I AM SPECIAL!!! Special as in stupid I guess ;_;  
  
Sharpie Marker 666  
  
Ryou Bakura Obsessor  
  
Life's Light/anime*angel  
  
RainOwl  
  
Seto/ryou4ever  
  
Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru  
  
Nerva al'Thor  
  
Disclaimer: MUST I SAY THIS ELEVEN TIMES?!?!?!? Darkshadow-23 doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh! GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEADS!!! GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!  
  
~  
  
We're all at the Brat's backyard. Right after the knife incident. You see, the brat was about to slice me in half when I use my excellent skills and swiftly dodged the attack so the –  
  
"What do you mean EXCELLENT SKILLS?! You tripped over a conveniently placed toaster!" Blast! Was I talking out loud?  
  
"Duh, you still are Bak'a!" Anyways, the brat sliced a cupcake that came out of nowhere and since he was still sugar high and was having mood swings, he got over sensitive and started crying about his cupcake dying.  
  
So the Pharaoh's Brat BURIED IT IN HIS BACK YARD. He put the CUPCAKE that he SLICED in a shoe box and BURIED it in his back yard!!! IT'S A FRUGGING CUPCAKE!!!!  
  
"I KILLED MR. CUPOCAKO!!" The Brat had changed into a black tuxedo for the . . . funeral (FOR A CUPCAKE!!!) and now he's crying on the Pharaoh's shoulder. -_-;  
  
I raise an eyebrow. It's one of my amazing and cunning skills! "You DO realize that you're STILL talking out loud right?" Stupid Ryou . . . "I HEARD THAT!" DAMMIT!  
  
Anyways . . . "Mr. Cupocako???" I ask.  
  
"HE WAS AUSTRALIAN!!!! WWWWWAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" Obviously, the Brat doesn't pay attention in geography class.  
  
"I AM A MURDERER!!! DON'T LOOK AT ME!!! STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!" The Brat runs back in the house crying.  
  
~  
  
Stupid Ryou. He was mad at me for saying that during the 'funeral' and wouldn't let me in his house! So I'm heading to Marik's house because Ryou forced me to watch 'Passions' at his house . . .  
  
Just when I'm about to open that weird gate thingy, Marik rushed out of the house. "HHHHHEEEYYYYYY MARIK!!!" I wave at him. But he completely ignored me and runs away down the street! Or up the street . . . okay, I'm not going to start THAT again.  
  
Damn him! WHY DIDN'T HE WAVE AT ME?!?!? I'll get him for this!  
  
~  
  
"– so you're going to stalk Marik and stab him until he waves at you?!?!" I'm back at Ryou's house and packing some knives from his kitchen.  
  
"Yes! I'll show that little moron who he should wave at!!!"  
  
"That . . . made no sense . . . you really need more threats, dude."  
  
"I know! 3000 years in the Ring really dulled my threatening skills . . ."  
  
"Like you have skills . . ."  
  
"EXACTLY! THEY HAVE BEEN DULLED!!! DULLED I SAY!!"  
  
"Well you CAN'T stab him! Just coax him into a polite conversation and try to figure out each other's misunderstandings . . ."  
  
I stare at him. "Or just beat him up, JUST NO BLOOD ON MY KNIVES!!!" He starts shoving me out the door.  
  
"Okay! Okay! I'll go and find him and . . . wait, did you just call me 'dude' earlier?!"  
  
~  
  
MUHAHAHAHAHAHA! I SHALL FIND MARIK AND DESTROY HIM FOR NOT WAVING AT ME!!!  
  
"Dude, you DO realize you just said that out loud right?" DAMMIT!  
  
Oh, I'm at that library again. The same place I met that weird girl that showed me the true meaning of hair . . . She thought it looked like a bat -_-;  
  
"HEY! You're right! It DOES look like bat wings! You're like, Batman, dude! BATMAN!! NANANANANANANANANANANANANANNA BATMAN!! BATMAN!!! BBBBBAAATTTTTMMMMMMMAAAANNNN!" O_O  
  
Must find Marik!!! I slowly back away from this strange mortal.  
  
"BBBBBBBAAAAAATTTTTTMMMMMMMAAAANNNNN!!!"  
  
~  
  
I don't know where Marik was so rushed to get to but I will find out where!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA!!! I SHALL CUT OFF HIS ARM SO EVEN WHEN HE FINALLY WANTS TO WAVE AT ME – HE CAN'T!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!!!  
  
"Wow, just because this person didn't wave at you, you're going to cut off his arm?!" DAMMIT! I was thinking out loud again!!!  
  
How do you think out loud exactly? Does it come out of your ears or is it just –  
  
"Excuse me sir, but you're still thinking out loud and you're disturbing the peace . . ."  
  
"PEACE?!?!? THERE IS NO PEACE!!! WAR AND CORRUPTION IS EVERYWHERE!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"  
  
"Right . . ." The pathetic mortal slowly backs away from me and then takes off.  
  
"HEY! It's you again! HI BATMAN!! NANANANANANANANANANANNA!!! BATMAN! BATMAN! BATMAN!!!!" DAMMIT! It's that mortal at the library again! You meet the strangest people in front of libraries . . .  
  
"BATMAN!!!"  
  
OHMIGOSH! IT'S MARIK! I FOUND HIM!! Did I just say OHMYGOSH?!?!?  
  
"MUHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! PREPARE TO DIE!!!!" I tackle Marik to the ground.  
  
"Bakura?!? WHAT IN RA'S NAME ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?"  
  
"DAMMIT! I don't have a knife! I'LL JUST USE MY 'HORNS OF THE DEVIL'!!!!!" I start trying to stab him with my sharp and pointy hair.  
  
"-_-; what's this all about?!"  
  
"YOU DIDN'T WAVE AT ME YOU DIRTY ASS!"  
  
"GO BATMAN!!! DESTROY THE SUPER VILLIAN!!! NANANANNANANANANANANANANANANA! BATMAN! BATMAN! BATMAN!!!!!"  
  
"Batman? Hey! Your hair DOES resemble bat wings! BATMAN!!!"  
  
"WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP MENTIONING THAT?!?!?!" I continue trying to stab him with my 'HORNS OF THE DEVIL'!!! MUHAHAHHAHAHAAHHA!!!  
  
"Um, Bakura? You DO realize you're saying that out loud right?" DAMMIT!  
  
"When did I not wave to you?! I HAVE ALWAYS WAVED TO YOU!!!"  
  
"No! When I went to your house you rushed out and ignored me! YOU DID NO TYPE OF WAVING WHAT-SO-EVER!!!"  
  
"BATMAN!!!! BATMAN!!! BATMAN!!!!"  
  
"I was going to the hospital! Isis somehow swallowed a thin paper ball filled with highly toxic and unstable chemicals! I shouldn't have put them next to the dumplings . . ."  
  
"Well you still haven't waved at me! WAVE RA DAMMIT!"  
  
"OKAY! OKAY!!" Marik starts swinging his arms around in a waving motion.  
  
"MY JOB IS COMPLETE!!!!! MUHAHHAHAAHAHAHHAHA!" I get off of him and start running away while laughing manically. That's really a word! ^_^  
  
"WAIT BATMAN! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH TO GIVE TO MY NON EXISTENT DOG??!?!?!"  
  
I was supposed to stalk Marik but instead, this crazy mortal I found outside a library stalks me instead!!  
  
"RRRRRRYYYYYYYOOOOOUUUUU!!!!! HHHHEEEELLLPPP MMMMMMEEEEEEEEEE!!!"  
  
~  
  
Here anime*angel, there was mentioning of a toaster in this chapter O_O I also watched salsa dancing on TV a couple of days ago! I was watching this show which I usually watch once and a while and 2 of the main characters salsa danced for some talent show O_O I wrote half of this chapter and then came back one week later to finish it off . . . writer's block flattened me again! DARNNIT!  
  
YAY! GO ME! My GPA has improved! GO ME! I'm on Honour Roll again this term . . . That shall do well for my job application in 3 years! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
The chapter's a bit short, blame writer's block! If you don't see me for a while blame it! I NEED IDEAS!!! I'll try and read all of the reviews when I have the time . . . I have homework for every subject except for French, Gym and Art!  
  
And the person stalking Bakura is Crawford! GO YOU! Since you're the 100th reviewer and all . . . yeah . . .  
  
|  
  
\/ Please give me ideas . . . @_@ 


	12. Entry 12: Frogs

Sorry I haven't updated in a while! First I didn't have any ideas, then when I finally did, my computer broke down and the it won't open!!! I got it back now but Mircrosoft Word is gone so I have to use WordPad -_-; It doesn't have spellcheck! So if there are any typos or errors blame my stupid computer! I don't like Windows XP . . . it blinds me . . . If anyone knows how to download Microsoft Word please tell me!!! We also got a CD Writer that makes no sense. It was installed into our computer when we got it fixed so if anyone knows how to use THAT please tell me!  
  
BakaNeko-Chan: YES FRENCH IS HARD!!! Even though I get a higher mark on that than some of my other classes . . . we speak English in every other class!  
  
BlueEyesWhiteCheesecake: I already did that once, except it was with Yami . . . It's not in my account though, I wrote it with Anime*Angel when I was at her house so just go to her bio and look for it . . . if you want to read it . . .  
  
clrules: Naw I did that on my other story, 'No Sanity Allowed' and it got deleted . . . I'm thinking about posting it on my new LiveJournal so is that a good idea or should I just skip it?  
  
Thanks to the other reviewers:  
  
KuramaandHiei4ever  
  
Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru  
  
WildAnimeMoon  
  
Crawford  
  
Princess Krystal01  
  
Evil-Rubber Duck  
  
RainOwl  
  
sparklypiggy  
  
I don't know how I got this idea . . . I was thinking about random stuff and I somehow came up with something like this:  
  
*PIB Special: Yami, Yugi and the Frog*  
  
Yami: Look Yugi! It's green in the outside, but red, pink and gooey in the inside! *Pokes the inside of the disected frog happily*  
  
Yugi: *Is as green as the frog when it was alive* That so GROSS Yami!!!  
  
Yami: It looks like my father's brain when we spooned it out! Small and disgusting! *Starts to squeal*  
  
Yugi: X__x;  
  
Yami: It doens't look exactly alike of course, I should just mix the organs around a bit . . . *Starts slicing random stuff with his scaple*  
  
Yugi: O__________O *Faints*  
  
Yami: There we go! Look what I did Yugi! *Is proud to recreate the sight of his father's brain* Yugi? Yuuuuuuuuuuugi?  
  
*End of PIB Special*  
  
Just imagine that Yami was Yugi and Yugi was Ryou . . . And I tihnk Yami doesn't really like his dad so he's making fun of the size of his brain. Good old Yami . . . and when I mean old, I mean OLD.  
  
Disclaimer: Darkshadow-23 doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh! And she made over 20 spelling errors! HAH!  
  
~  
  
I'm sorry Journal, I must have been neglecting you lately. I'm still a bit spooked about Lloyd. I wonder where that kid is? Maybe I could give Lloyd back to him.  
  
I'm walking to Ryou's school. The Pharaoh's Slave called and told me that Ryou fainted or something. I don't know what that has to do with me! Can't they drive him back to his house or something?  
  
Maybe I shouldn't call him the Pharaoh's Slave. It's more of the Pharaoh's Master. The Pharaoh is more of a slave to the Brat then the Brat to the Pharaoh. Stupid Pharaoh. Maybe I should kill him. And NOT mummify him! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
"Dude, you do realize your talking out loud right?"  
  
DAMMIT!!! I asked the mortal where Ryou was.  
  
"Ryou? I don't know any Ryou, man, maybe you should just like, leave the prem-me-sis." The guy shakes his head and walks away.  
  
Stupid mortal!!! One day he shall die!!! By old age . . . Anyways I eventually find Ryou at the Healers Wing.   
  
What the heck?! Ryou's slepping? I WALKED FOR OVER 3 BLOCKS JUST TO SEE RYOU SLEEP?!?!?! I CAN DO THAT AT HOME!!!! Actually I did try to tape record Ryou sleeping, to prove that he snores. He does! Just really softly! He says he's just breathing but don't believe him!!!  
  
"YOU STUPID LITTLE BRAT! YOU MADE ME WALK 3 BLOODY BLOCKS TO SEE RYOU NAPPING?!?!" The Brat just ignores my rudeness. After all I've done to have a rude personality he ignores it?!  
  
"Ryou fainted in Science class! We were disecting a frog and he completly flipped." Stupid little brat . . . Wait, the Pharaoh doesn't go to this learning facility! THERE IS NO ONE TO PROTECT HIM! I CAN STEAL HIS MILLENNIUM PUZZLE! AND ACHIEVE ULITIMATE POWER!!!  
  
"Um . . . Bakura? I'm not wearing the Puzzle, Yami has it today . . . "  
  
DAMMIT! was I speaking aloud again?!  
  
"Yes."  
  
-_-; I start to shake Ryou. "WAKE UP FOOL!!!" I am NOT going to carry him for 3 blocks!  
  
~  
  
Finally after many countless hours -   
  
"It's only been 4 minutes Bakura." AS I WAS SAYING!!! After many countless hours Ryou wakes up.  
  
He has this creepy glint in his eyes . . . "BAKURA! THE FROGS THEY HAVE COME FOR REVENGE!!!! DON'T LET THEM GET TO ME!!!!" He grabs the collor of my shirt and starts shaking me.  
  
"But Ryou I was the one who disected the thing! Calm down!"  
  
"Oh no! That means that they'll go after you Yugi! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!!"  
  
"WHAT?!?!?! I DON'T WANT A FROG TO DISECT ME!!!!"  
  
"The frogs must have said that about humans before they got disected!"  
  
The two morons start to run around screaming their bloody head off. Do they breathe sugar or what?! Some healers come into the room and start to grab the running freaks. I made no attempt to help. I MIGHT BREAK A NAIL!!!!  
  
. . .  
  
Don't talk to me like that Journal! ;_;  
  
~  
  
Ryou managed to make it home. One of the healers shot him with this strange needle and he got more sane. I think my insanity is rubbing off on him . . . I wonder if I get a strange needle shot into my arm will I get sane? Ryou told me to try it but maybe he was being sarcastic.  
  
"OF COURSE I'M BEING SARCASTIC YOU MORON! DO YOU WANT TO DIE?!?!"  
  
I think he's still thinking about that frog thing . . . And I should STOP THINKING OUT LOUD!   
  
DING! DONG! DING! DONG!  
  
I help myself to some grapes on the counter while Ryou goes answer the door.  
  
Yum grapes! And it isn't those stupid purple grapes with seeds in them! It's those good green grapes with no seeds that makes me dizzy! GO GREEN GRAPES!   
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" Hmmmm . . . that's Ryou screaming isn't it?  
  
"FROG DOMINATION!!! EVERYONE RUN!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Yup, It's Ryou alright! I can now hear him running up the stairs whiel screaming madly. Then the door shuts with a loud BANG!  
  
I sigh and go to the front door I wonder what made Ryou run screaming like that . . .  
  
"HOLY GODS ABOVE!!!!!" GGGGGAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! It's a GIANT FROG MAN!!!!  
  
"Hi Bakura! You wanna go out and play?" WHAT THE FU -   
  
"MARIK?!?!?! WHY ARE YOU DRESSED IN A FROG SUIT?!?!?!"  
  
"Frog suit? Don't be silly Bakura! It's the NEWEST fashion craze!!!" He twirls around in his FREAKING FROG SUIT!!!!  
  
"It's not Hallowe'en Marik! GET IN THE HOUSE BEFORE THE NEIGHBOURS SEE!!!" I pull him into the house, shut the door and shove him into the living room.  
  
Ra, I'm starting to sound like Ryou! Speaking of Ryou, I hope he won't come downstairs anytime soon, he might freak out again.  
  
"Hey did you get new wallpaper . . . ?"  
  
"ENOUGH WITH THE SMALL TALK MARIK ISHTAR!!! I COMMAND YOU TO TAKE OFF THAT RIDICULOUS OUTFIT AND BURN IT TO HELL!!!! WHAT WOULD ISIS THINK?!?!?" Wow, I DO sound like Ryou. Stupid Ryou, making me responsible for Marik's COMLETELY MESSED UP dress sense!  
  
"Okay! Okay! But in 6 months EVERYONE would be wearing this!"   
  
They BETTER not! Or Ryou would REALLY think there was a Frog Domination and he'll chuck himself off a cliff and make me burn the left overs so the frogs won't get him . . .   
  
"GGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" MARIK HAS BATMAN UNDERWEAR!!!!   
  
"I'm cold . . ."  
  
I sprint to the shed in the backyard and grab on of those big cardboard boxes and run back to the living room. As soon as I see Marik I wrap him around with the cardboard box.  
  
"Bakura! This was last month's style! It's SO last millennium!"  
  
"I WAS STUCK IN A FRUGGING RING LAST MILLENNIUM!!!"  
  
"DID SOMEONE SAY FROG?!?!?!!?" Uh oh, Ryou came back down to the living room! I need to hide the frog suit!  
  
"BAKURA! YOU KILLED THE FROG!! YYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!"  
  
Hey, for once Ryou is happy that I killed something! even though that frog suit was technically never alive!  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! BATMAN UNDERWEAR!!!!"  
  
~  
  
I'm not sure if that's 5 pages! WordPad doesn't tell me how many pages . . . So it might be to short or something! SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO GET MICROSOFT WORD!!!  
  
And does anyone have LiveJournal? Tell me!   
  
I thought of this disection idea before my Science student teacher told the class we were going to disect a sheep's eye on Tuesday! I FORETOLD THE FUTURE!!!! Or maybe it's a coincidence . . . I DON'T WANT TO DISECT A FREAKING EYE!!!   
  
I think I may have done a bit over 5 pages . . . I don't know!  
  
|  
  
|  
  
|  
  
\/ Review me some ideas please! 7-10 reviews to continue! It gives me an excuse not to update so early! ^__^; 


	13. SPECIAL: Yami

Ah, 'Seto's Endless Troubles!' got deleted . . . Why? Because I accidentally uploaded the same chapter twice . . . it was because chapter 7 was messed up because of QuickEdit and I never had a chance to fix it until this week and I was going to replace the chapter but accidentally made it chapter 8. So I quickly deleted chapter 8 and replaced it with chapter 7. So they deleted it -.-; it was fanfic's fault in the first place!!! I e- mailed them back telling them that it wasn't my fault at all and it was just an accident. I don't think they will respond so I MIGHT post it back up in the summer or something. What ever. Does anyone know any fan fiction sites with a Yu-Gi-Oh! Category in it that I can join? If you do please tell me!  
  
I have this problem where when something bad happens to me I get a good idea for a story. I have issues. The day I am writing this is after 'SET!' got deleted . . . Yeah. Maybe my fics should get deleted more often?? Naw! Now it is review replying time!  
  
KuramaandHiei4ever: I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T UPDATE SOON!!! [Sobs] Yes, instead of stars I use square brackets now. Because stars won't show up in QuickEdit!!! WHY?!?!?!  
  
Hug Obsessed Amber-person: I got Microsoft Word back! FOR FREE!!!! Dum, dum, dum!!! MY BROTHER DID IT!!! NOT ME!!!  
  
YaYugi: You probably will never read this chapter because I took over a month to update! I scare my family naturally. If you like the Yami Yugi special you'll LOVE this chapter .  
  
Sparklypiggy: Ryou has a secret insanity within him! My family eats froggy legs. FOR WE ARE ASIAN! AND ASIANS CAN EAT ANYTHING!!!! Digesting is another story . . .  
  
Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru: Poor you! My partner dissected the sheep eye. It was disgusting . . . but the lens in the eye was kind of cool. It looked shiny. But it wasn't. Bakura doesn't have a brain so he has to do his thinking differently =)  
  
Taji Yokaze: THERE ARE THINGS IN WORMS?!?!?! I thought there was just jelly- like stuff in them and that's it!!! OH MY GOD. I dissected Mokuba's eye. That can't go too well.  
  
Evil-Rubber Duck: My brother dissected a cow's eye in his old high school. HAH! It was probably . . . more gross then your cow eyeball! HAHAHAHAHA! Why are we comparing eye balls? Yugi would beat us all!  
  
Thanks to others:  
  
Life's Light/animeangel (THE STAR IN HER PENNAME WILL BE MISSING!!!!)  
  
RainOwl  
  
Darkness  
  
This is a SPECIAL chapter! It isn't about Bakura I am afraid. Because I can't get an idea for him . . . and I think this idea suits more with Yami and Yugi. And I haven't mentioned Joey AT ALL! Yes, Joey will make a SPECIAL appearance in this SPECIAL chapter. I should stop spelling special in capitals . . . Poor, Bakura he won't be appearing in his own story!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

* * *

I usually get really bored on Saturday afternoons after the morning cartoons end. So I would go up and chat a bit with Yugi.  
  
"HEY YUGI!!!! I'm bored, can we play a game? Please? Please? I have gum!"  
  
"All right, but I just need to finish off my book report, give me a minute."  
  
So, being me, the polite and mannered person I am, I sit on his bed and wait for him to finish his report.  
  
After some silent minutes the phone rings. It rings kind of funny now, because once I accidentally sat on it wrong and it flew across the room and hit Mr. Motou upside the head and he almost died. The phone, on the other hand, had survived with only a little bump and odd noises that changed frequency every time it rang.  
  
"Yami, can you get that for me? I still got a little bit to do."  
  
So of course, I went to answer the phone. You might expect me to mess up and go completely crazy because a strange metal object can submit voices of other people while they are actually not within physical hearing distance, right?  
  
But Yugi heard from Ryou about the Tomb Robbers freak accidents with household appliances and other mechanical rig rag so Yugi taught me everything beforehand. I'm just a bit clumsy that's all.  
  
After having a pleasant conversation with the man on the other side of the phone I went back into Yugi's room and flopped down on his bed.  
  
"Who was that Yami?" Yugi asked, clicking away on his 'computer' (which was a squarish or rectangular object that was much like the 'television').  
  
"It was a doctor from the hospital, Yugi." I answer back.  
  
"WHAT?!?!? The hospital? Who's in the hospital?" Yugi stopped typing and whipped around on his spinney chair and stared at me.  
  
"It was your grandpa, Mr. Motou."  
  
"WHAT?!?!?! GRANPA'S IN THE HOSPITAL?!?!?! WHY?!?!?! HOW!?!?!?" Yugi stared at me wide eyed.  
  
"It was probably because of that fire in the living room. And I called the hospital people to take him there because you told me if someone is hurt I have to press the speed dial button that calls the hospital right away." I was very proud that time, I remembered what Yugi taught me!  
  
"THERE WAS A FIRE IN OUR LIVING ROOM?!?!? HOW?!?!?" Yugi's eyes got even wider.  
  
"I'm not really sure how THAT happened actually . . . You see, I was playing with some coins because I was bored right? All my cartoons were over and I didn't want to bother you so I sat there on the couch with my coins . . . and then I went to get a glass of water . . . and I forgot to brush my teeth because I woke up late for my cartoons . . . then I remembered there was another cartoon on another channel so I rushed back to the living room with some suds in my mouth and then my chin was on fire . . ."  
  
"YOUR CHIN WAS ON FIRE??!!?!? WHAT KIND OF TOOTHPASTE WERE YOU USING?!?!?!?!" I'm sure Yugi didn't mean to interrupt so I silently forgave him.  
  
"I'm not sure . . . The cabinet was a bit messy and I can't read your modern language quite that well yet so I used the green colored tube. The gooey stuff inside was kind of grayish-blue with dark-ish spots in it."  
  
"O.O that's . . . grandpa's . . . FOOT JAM REMOVER!!!!! THAT IS SO GROSS! YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH WITH FOOT JAM REMOVER!!!" Yugi looks kind of green . . . like that tube!  
  
"Yugi, what's 'foot jam'?" I've heard of a 'foot' and 'jam' but I've learned that if you stick two different words together it can mean something entirely different.  
  
"Foot jam, is that GROSS STUFF between Grandpa's toes!!!"  
  
"But those taste wonderful!"  
  
Yugi's jaw dropped and his eyes widened to its extreme.  
  
Wow, Yugi has REALLY BIG eyes! Maybe they're glass eyes, like those sailor captains in the old movies Mr. Motou watch.  
  
So, being the curious type, I poke one of them.  
  
"YAMI!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE %&$% HECK IS (&#% WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?! FIRST YOU %!$&)$#% BURN MY LIVING ROOM THEN YOU PUT MY GRANPA IN THE HOSPITAL AND NOW YOU'RE TRYING TO BLIND ME?!?!?!? I'M SO GOING TO KICK YOUR ($!#%&)&%# AND CUT OFF YOUR &%#$$#%& AND ROAST YOUR )(&%!!#$&((&#!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yugi clutched his right eye, with I poked without thinking.  
  
"O.O"  
  
I didn't know the human body had names and parts that sound like THAT!!! And how did Yugi learn all those cuss words! He should hang less around Ryou since the Tomb Robber keeps following Ryou around.  
  
Suddenly the doorbell rings. Yugi glares at me with one of his eyes and then stomps out of the room and to the back door.  
  
I slowly tip toe downstairs because I don't want to anger Yugi farther.  
  
"YUGI!" I peek our from behind the kitchen doorway and I see Joey talking to Yugi.  
  
Yugi sighs and says, "What is it NOW Joey?"  
  
"I finally got myself a flashy cape! Now we can make like Marik, and take over the world!!!!" Joey spins around and his cape swirls along with him, showing off for Yugi.  
  
"Joey, that's NOT a flashy cape! It's just a bed sheet with a piece of paper that says 'FLASHY' taped on it!" I see Yugi somehow make a frown with one eye. Eyes are actually very important in facial expression.  
  
"It's close enough Yugi! I have to save up my money for that cannon that we're going to buy! We'll fill it up with ice cream and freeze the world! It's be another ice age!!!"  
  
"Joey! It's summer soon! Ice cream will melt! Or kids will eat it! WE CAN'T TAKE OVER THE WORLD! And I don't want to either!"  
  
"Man, Yugi! Why are you so grouchy today?"  
  
"If you haven't noticed, one of my eyes has been blinded! And my living room is destroyed. AND MY GRANDPA IS GOING TO DIE!!! AGAIN!"  
  
Yugi is over exaggerating! The doctor person said that Mr. Motou has extreme brain damage from the smoke, that's all!  
  
Something strange is happening. There's an odd ringing noise and now it's raining. It isn't supposed to rain inside! Does it? In Egypt it hardily rained at all, let alone inside. Maybe it is different in this part of the world.  
  
"Oh, no! Now the fire alarm is going on! YAMI!!!!"  
  
I quickly jump up and go over to Yugi and Joey. "Yes Yugi?"  
  
"Do you have ANY idea why the fire alarm is going off?" I thought it was going on?  
  
"Fire alarm? Fire . . . OH! Maybe it's because of the fire in the living room."  
  
"IN THE LIVING ROOM?!?!!?"  
  
"Yes, I told you before didn't I?"  
  
"YOU MEAN THERE IS STILL A FIRE IN THE LIVING ROOM?!?!?!"  
  
"Yes. Oh no! I apologize Yugi! I forgot to press the other speed dial button for the fire people to come."  
  
Yugi starts to 'freak out' as Joey would say and runs to the living room.  
  
"Man, Yugi's really freaking out!" Joey says.  
  
I know my friends well . . . Oh, good. The raining stopped.  
  
"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Joey and I run to the living room, hearing Yugi scream.  
  
"MY LIVING ROOM!!!" Yugi cries, hugging the wet and half destroyed couch. "MY INNOCENT, INNOCENT LIVING ROOM!!!"  
  
"It's probably not that innocent Yugi, you probably got conceived on that thing! HAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!" Joey is making a joke I believe.  
  
"AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!!!" Yugi starts chasing Joey around with his hand still on his eye.  
  
"EEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPP!!!"  
  
"Yugi, what does conceive mean?"

* * *

YAY! I managed to stick in 5 pages! GO ME!!! Even though one page is author's notes and review replies [shifty eyes]. 

The odd ringing telephone represents my odd ringing doorbell. Last week it rang like 'EEP, EEP, EEP' etc. and today it's ringing one of those Beethoven songs. I don't know what's it called . . . It sounds like what an ice cream trunk would play. And Joey wanted to ice cream bomb the world! I didn't notice that . . . Wow.  
  
So if anyone knows any good fan fiction sites please tell me in your review . . . or leave a note on my LiveJournal! My username is darkshadow23 there too. There's in underscore between the 'w' and the '2' but QuickEdit won't show it.  
  
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V Please review! Yeah. And please give me ideas! I'M IN WRITER'S BLOCK ZONE!


	14. Entry 13: Birdies

Hehehe . . . Looks like I haven't updated in a while huh? Sorry a bit of stress going on =P It might get worse . . . I hope not . . . But you guys don't know what I'm talking about so REVIEW ANSWERING TIME! FEAR MY ANSWERS!!! MUHAHHAAHAHAHHAA!  
  
KuramaandHiei4ever: Too bad that site closed down . . . I heard of it a while ago and was going to join . . . Thanks for trying to give me ideas though! =)  
  
Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru: Yup! Bakura's back! I hope this chapter will be funny . . .  
  
Funky Egyptain: I probably won't update SET until I find and idea for the next chapter then I'll have plenty of time . . . do you think I should make it like NSA and change the chapters to be more funny?  
  
RainOwl: I'll probably join other fan fiction site when I get more free time. =) And yes Bakura is back!  
  
Lanane: I remember you! Squirrel girl . . . I should call you that from now on XD  
  
Thanks to others who reviewed:  
  
Darkdiva and tears of darkness  
  
Ryou Bakura Obsessor  
  
YaYugi  
  
Yla/all4him  
  
Taji Yokaze  
  
Sparklypiggy  
  
Goddess-of-Anime  
  
Yami-no-jean  
  
I got this idea this morning. I woke up way to early (as usual) and tried to get back to sleep and I was remembering PIB chapter 7 when Bakura gave Ryou that gift and one thing lead to another and this idea fell out of my ear.  
  
BAKURA'S GONNA USE THE GIFT HE GAVE RYOU! And the rating didn't go up if you didn't notice so it's not what you think! Get those sick thoughts out!  
  
Disclaimer: darkshadow-23 doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh! That guy with a longer name then her does. What a loser DS is she doesn't have a long name. Loser. Not like me. DIS-CLAIM-ER. Hah. In her face.

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Darn that Ryou. He threw away the package of seeds I gave him! But being the nice yami that I am he must've just accidentally threw it out midst his cleaning.  
  
Darn, he didn't even use any! I though he liked plants too . . . I GOT IT! I can continue my good deeds and plant them for him! Once I earn enough good deeds I can finally reincarnate into the next Pharaoh and finally be out of this hell-hole! MUHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAA!  
  
- Er, I mean, I like helping! =)  
  
Anyways, I couldn't find an empty flower pot in the darned shed so I just took one of those ugly flowers that Ryou calls, "The most rarest breed from Britain!" and rip them out of the pot and stamp on them until they are reduced to colorful sand type of substance and chuck it in the compost.  
  
Now my fingers are all muddy . . . Ah, who cares I used to not be able to take baths for months in Egypt. And I didn't take anything baths in the Millennium Ring for 3 thousand years.  
  
I take Ryou's bottle of 'mineral' water and pour on the mud. Like what Ryou does all the time.  
  
Ryou sings to his plants as well, he says it makes them grow more . . . Hmmmm . . .  
  
"MARRY HAD A LITTLE LAMB! LITTLE LAMB! LITTLE LAAAAAAAAAAAMB! MARRY HAD A LITTLE LAMB WHOSE -"  
  
"BAKURA WHY IN THE BLOODY HELLS ARE YOU SINGING 'MARRY HAD A LITTLE LAMB' SO BLOODY LOUDLY AT 4:23AM?!?!?!?!?!?"  
  
Wow, it's 4:23am? I don't usually wake up that early . . .  
  
Ryou came downstairs in his 'pa-jam-aas'. On those 'pa-jam-aas' it says 'FROGS MUST DIE!!!!!' all over it. What a weird guy . . .  
  
"I'm watering those seeds that I gave you! You accidentally threw it away Ryou, you should pay more attention and not be so careless . . ."  
  
"WHAT?!??!!? I threw those away on purpose! AND ISN'T THAT POT SUPPOSED TO BE WHERE I PLANTED THOSE RARE FLOWERS FROM BRITAIN?!?!?!"  
  
"What do you mean when you say 'rare'?"  
  
"CURSE YOU BAKURA! CURSE YOU AND YOUR STUPIDITY!"  
  
Suddenly a strange cracking sound is heard.  
  
"HOLY CRAP!!!!" Ryou's pointing to the pot I'm watering. HOW DID THE SEEDS GET SO BIG?!??!!?  
  
"They're hatching Bakura! HATCHING!!!!"  
  
"YAY! That means we're going to have pork chop plants right?!?!"  
  
"NO!!!! Those aren't seeds! They're a new experimental project! You water them and they expand then hatch! THEY'RE CONDOR EGGS!!!"  
  
"What's a condor?" Some kind of new plant maybe?  
  
"They're a type of vulture! But these ones are mutated to KILL EVERYTHING IN SIGHT! WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Now Ryou's running around in circles screaming . . .  
  
Well, the eggs have hatched and some kind of freaky bird things are coming out. And not baby birds, they're GIANT birds. And they look hungry.  
  
"Aw, they're so cute! My beautiful murderous birdies! And they look hungry too huh, Ryou?"  
  
"Gaaaaaaaaaaahhhh . . .?" Ryou's stopped running and just standing there with his mouth wide open.  
  
"You must be hungry too! I'll go out to steal – Uh, BUY some food for all of you."  
  
I put the empty bottle of water down and head towards the front door. "I'll be back soon Ryou! Don't eat the birdies while I'm gone!" I joke.  
  
"Eeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh . . .?"

* * *

Darn, it's only about 5 am now! How am I going to get some food?  
  
MARIK! I can get some food from Marik! The guy usually has food in that house of his . . .  
  
I turn around the corner and start walking towards Marik's house. I hope Ryou and our new pet birdies are getting along.  
  
When I reached Marik's house I rang the 'door bell'. I understand that it's near the door, but it really doesn't look like a bell. It's just a button . . .  
  
"HI BAKURA! You're up early!"  
  
Damn, is there a time when this guy ISN'T hyper . . .?  
  
"Dear Ra! Marik where's your pants?!?!?!"  
  
"Don't be silly! You don't wear pants to bed! You'll grow ants in your ears!" Marik starts giggling.  
  
". . . O.O . . . " He's getting more and more insane . . . "Um, anyways . . . Ryou and I got some new pets and I'm wondering if I can borrow some food from you for them to eat."  
  
"Sure! We have lots of food! Liver of orange, muffin meat, dishcloth . . ."  
  
"Ack! I don't think birds eat THAT Marik!"  
  
"Ooh! You got birdies?! We have worms . . ."  
  
"That'll do." I follow Marik into his kitchen. "Wait a minute! WHY DO YOU HAVE WORMS IN YOUR 'FREEZER'?!?!?!!?"  
  
"Oh, Isis has a job remember?"  
  
"Oh, yeah! You're so lucky, Ryou and I are living on Ryou's father's money . . . WAIT! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BUY WORMS YOU CAN JUST DIG IT UP FROM THE GROUND!"  
  
". . . Right . . . whatever you say . . ." Great, now MARIK is looking at me like I'M insane.  
  
"I don't need your worms anymore!" I run out of the house and head back to Ryou's house.

* * *

There's a large 'truck' outside Ryou's house. And there's a bunch of guys carrying cages from in Ryou's house to in the 'truck' . . .  
  
I gasp. In the cages are our pet birdies! WHO DARES TO TAKE THEM?!?!?!  
  
I run into Ryou's house and see all of my birdies in the cages with people locking the cages up!  
  
"MY BIRDIES! MY BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL BIRDIES!!!" The guys closing up the cages look at me like I've gone insane. Great, first Marik and now these strangers . . .  
  
"RYOU! THEY'RE TAKING OUR BIRDIES AWAY!!!"  
  
Hearing me, Ryou appears. Man, he looks like a wreak! His clothes are half shredded his hair is messed up and there's bandages everywhere on him.  
  
"Ryou, you need some new clothes . . ." I saw before he goes completely insane and jumps on me.  
  
"DIE YOU BLOODY )$$##%$&))&)%##!%(&)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"AHHH! RYOU! STOP HITTING ME!!" How can someone so weak be so strong? Wait, does that sentence make any sense?  
  
I shove him off and made a break for it. But Ryou follows me with a shovel that seemingly came out of no where and attempts to whack me with it.  
  
"I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!!!"  
  
"HELP! SOMEONE HELP ME!!!" No, I'm not begging for my life. "HOLY RA!! HE'S GONNA KILL ME!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! HELP!!! HHHHHEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!"  
  
The idiots that were stealing our birdies just ignore us like it happens all the time and continues to lock up the cages and put them in that truck.  
  
"I'VE GOT YOU NOW!!! MUHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHHAA!!!!"  
  
I get whacked on the head with the shovel.

* * *

I can never end a random chapter can I? They just end up awkward . . . I'll never find a good way to end this story . . . I really need a story with a plot.  
  
Actually I have an idea with a story with a plot except it's a romance (and I suck at those) and it has a plot (and I suck at those) and I don't know how to write it without cracking a joke (and I'm kind of good at that) but it's a serious story -.-  
  
It's not Yu-Gi-Oh! Though. It's DN Angel . . . I've watched all the episodes of that anime except episodes 2, 5 and 26.  
  
So, I'll never ever make a serious story . . . also have another Bakura story that I've only written 1 and a half chapters about . I don't know how to end it . . . It's only supposed to be about 5 chapters or so. I guess I'll leave it unfinished forever . . .  
  
I also have to put SET back up someday . . . Maybe I won't put it back up . . . I wouldn't be able to finish that story either.  
  
I'm a bad authoress . . .

Hehehe . . . I tricked you . . . the gift Bakura gave Ryou wasn't THAT. It was an experimental project that Bakura stole from the government . . . Condor eggs . . . Hehehe . . . you all thought it was something dirty didn't you?

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V Review please. I need ideas . . . I almost never use the ideas, but they give me inspiration for other ideas . . . I think . . . . 


	15. Entry 14: Kittens

Hey guys! For those who reads my other active story 'No Sanity Allowed' it's been deleted! Yeah . . . so I moved it to mediaminer. So if everyone would be nice enough to go review there I would probably update THIS story faster as well XD Please go to my bio for the link to 'No Sanity Allowed'! Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I actually wrote this chapter a while ago but fanfic won't let me upload it and then my sister went to the hospital (and the stupid doctors took out her appendix when it wasn't even the main problem!) so I had no time on the computer -.-; And then fanfic was down and won't let me log in. Now, review answering time:  
  
Life's Light/animeangel: Dude, I don't know what you're going to do about feeding a condor if you get one, haha. They're a type of vulture so you'll have to go hunting for it's food!  
  
BakaNeko-Chan: Ending ANYTHING is hard for me . . . I tried a serious story but I kow I can't finish it so I've stopped writing after the 2nd and a half chapter! It was also about Bakura . . .  
  
Game and Watch Forever: If you like Ryou attacking Bakura in that chapter you'll love this chapter!  
  
Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru: Ughh . . . don't remind me about those kiddie shows! I had to babysit my 5 year old little sister and she keeps watching Barney and Sesame Street and all that . . . she thinks the Teletubbies are scary though! But she like the sun baby guy . . .  
  
Funky Egyptian: I understand! My computer is messing up too -.-; SET will also move to mediaminer along with all my other stories. I'm going to re-write SET to make it funnier.  
  
Thanks to others who reviewed:  
  
sparklypiggy  
  
tamashiipurizuma  
  
ReviewerGirl55  
  
Evil-Rubber Duck  
  
RainOwl  
  
Sour Schuyler  
  
Random Person number 3  
  
I'll soon be moving my stories to mediaminer! And I will be re-writing some of them! This includes PIB. Remember when I said I was going to re-write cahpters 1-4? Then I was too lazy and didn't? Well I'm REALLY going to re-write them and post them on mediaminer.  
  
Anyways I got this chapter's story idea completely by random, like every other time I get ideas. I was just walking around the living room and started thinking, maybe in this chapter Ryou should get revenge on Bakura for all the stupid things he has done. I thought about taking Bakura too the zoo and making him terrified of giraffes, but I think I'll leave that for another chapter . . . Then I remembered about Egyptain spirits and how cats guide them to the Underworld, so Bakura should be terrified of cats because they'll take him away! Then I thought, Yugi should get revenge on Yami too!  
  
Please enjoy this chapter! And please ignore all spelling and grammar mistakes because Microsoft word has disappeared from my computer so I'm using WordPad right now . . .  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

* * *

After waking up from the 'hospital' and returning to Ryou's house, Ryou changed back from being completely crazy and insane and back to the sweet, kind, and nice Ryou. Is kind and nice pretty much the same?  
  
Anyways, Ryou was very sorry about whacking my on the back of my head with a shovel so he cooked me dinner!  
  
"Don't go into the kitchen Bakura! I don't want my leg to be nearly burnt off like the last time!" Awwww . . . isn't he the greatest?

* * *

We're both halfway through eating our evening meal when the 'phone' rings.  
  
DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING.  
  
"Shut up Bakura." Ryou says. Crap, was I impersonating the phone again? AND HOW CAN RYOU READ MY MIND?!?!?!  
  
"I'm not reading your mind you idiot! You're talking out loud!" DAMMIT! NOT AGAIN!  
  
"Hello?"  
  
I would usually try and listen in his private conversation but my head was whacked by a shovel and I haven't eaten in 2 days since I was in the hospital so I continue to steal Ryou's food and eat it.  
  
Suddenly I stop eating due to Ryou suddenly speaking in a scary voice.  
  
"Yes Yugi everytihng is set for our plan . . . muhhahahahahaa . . . . muahahhaahhaahhaa . . . MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!" Now Ryou is freaking me out by laughing insanely.  
  
"BAKURA WILL BE DESTROYED! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
"Um, Ryou? I'm in the room -.-;"  
  
Ryou stares at me for a moment. " . . . . "  
  
" . . . " I stare back.  
  
He stops staring, ignores me completely and goes back to talking tot he Pharoah's Slave. "Bakura doesn't suspect a thing! MUHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

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" . . . Rubber ducky went to the market to buy DVDs!!!!" I love bath time! =)  
  
"BAKURA!!!!!!" That stupid Ryou just opens the door!  
  
"I'M TAKING A BATH DAMMIT!!!!" I yell at him.  
  
"In your Superman outfit?" He askes raising an eyebrow.  
  
" . . . the cape makes me feel special okay?!?!?!?" No one understands my feelings!  
  
" Okay . . . Anyways, hurry up and change into something more . . . how should I put this nicely? . . . **Normal** . . . because we're going out."  
  
"Out? You mean as in **OUTSIDE**? Where there is no shelter?!?!? I JUST TOOK MY BATH WITH MY RUBBER DUCKY!" I am shocked that Ryou wants me to leave the house again, I did nothing wrong (in the last 3 seconds)!  
  
"It's not a rubber ducky damn you! It's a bloody **SOCK**! A SOCK!!! STOP TAKING BATHS WITH A SOCK AND GET YOUR BUTT OUT OF THE TOILET! NORMAL PEOPLE DON'T TAKE BATHS IN TOILETS!!!!"  
  
"I'm **SPECIAL** therefore, I take baths in toilets! Small spaces make me feel protected and warm! HMPH!" I cross my arms and pout.  
  
"Bakura, drop the sock and step away from the toilet." Ryou starts rubbing the sides of his head with his fingers. IS HE FINGERING ME IN BRITISH?!?!?!?  
  
"But we aren't finished out bath time song!" I hug my rubber ducky.  
  
Oh crap! Ryou's turning evil! His eyes are glowing!!! Ryou yanks me out of my beautiful toilet, take my rubber ducky and flushed him! NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!  
  
"And stop writing in that damned journal or I'll flush it too!"  
  
"But you told me to write in this journal!" I sniff.  
  
"Since when did you listen to me?!?!?!?"  
  
"Uh . . . I only listen to you when I can find away around it and make it annoy you."  
  
Ryou glares at me. "Change into normal clothes and meet me at the front door." He says angerly and stomps off.  
  
Ryou is so mean . . . I still have to mourn in the loss of my beautiful rubber ducky! The toilet is still making weird sounds. It's crying!  
  
I hug the toilet. "It's okay! Ryou forced you . . . you didn't mean it!" The toilet stops making sounds and I go off to change into some stupid outfit with no cape.

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Ryou took me to a deserted area somewhere near the park. It's creepy . . .  
  
"Ryou, what are we doing here? It's scary here . . ."  
  
"Don't be such a wimp." Ryou keeps on walking and then stops at some sort of clearing.  
  
"I want my rubber ducky . . ."  
  
"It's a sock dammit!"  
  
"Ryou is a mean, old . . . DVD . . ."  
  
"You don't know what's a DVD do you?"  
  
" . . . It's what you are!" I stick my tongue out at him.  
  
Ryou just glares evilly back at me. Hah. I win.  
  
"Ryou! Sorry if we're late!" Damn, this day gets worse! It's the Pharaoh and his Slave!  
  
"Yugi! This place is creepy . . ."  
  
The brat starts to get this crazy expression in his face and stares evilly at the Pharoah and I. "It should be creepy, Yami . . . it sound be . . ."  
  
"MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Ryou and the Slave starts laughing insanely.  
  
"O.O" I look at the Pharoah with wide eyes and he looks back at me with equally wide eyes.  
  
The Pharoah's slave reaches into his pocket and pulls out a . . .  
  
"HOLY RA!!!!"  
  
"It's . . . it's . . . it's THE CUTTEST KITTEN I'VE EVER SEEN!!!!!" The Pharaoh and I start to freak out.  
  
"You wanna pet it Bakura?" Ryou asks sweetly.  
  
"RUN FOR IT!!!!!!!!" I yell. The Pharoah and I start to make a break for it.  
  
"YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE ITS CUTENESS!!!!" I hear the slave call behind us.

* * *

We stop before a hill to catch our breath.  
  
"Did we escape?" the Pharoah whispers.  
  
"I think so . . ." I answer.  
  
"I think NOT!"  
  
We turn around to see our hikari's on top of the hill!  
  
"Take this, couch destroyer!" The Pharaoh's Slave takes a kitten from a pile of kittens behind him, rolls it up like 'snowball' and chucks it at the Pharoah. I quickly try and sheild myself.  
  
"IT BURNS!!!! IT BURNS!!!!!" the Pharaoh grabs his side where he was hit and starts twitching. "It was JUST a couch Yugi!"  
  
"JUST A COUCH?!?!? I gave Yugi that couch for Pencil Day!" Ryou screams.  
  
"Why would you give someone a COUCH for PENCIL Day?" I ask.  
  
" . . . . SHUT UP!" Ryou takes another kitten, rolls it up into a ball and chucks it at me!!!  
  
It landed on my hair!!!! "OH MY RA!!! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!!!" I yell at the Pharaoh.  
  
"I can't! It's the same color as your hair! I CAN'T TELL YOUR HAIR FROM THE KITTEN!!!!"  
  
"THEN JUST SHAVE MY HAIR OFF!"  
  
"YOU TWO WILL NEVER ESCAPE!!!!"  
  
I freeze in fear as more kittens are chucked at us.

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MUAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAA! GO RYOU! GO YUGI! YOU GET THOSE TWO!  
  
Weird how this chapter turned out . . . I randomly made the bathroom scene! This chapter was an easier chapter to write for some odd reason!  
  
Guys, please review 'No Sanity Allowed' on mediaminer! Here's the link:  
  
www. media miner .org /fanfic/viewst.php/70805/  
  
Remember to take out the spaces! And if that link doesn't work jsut go to my bio for the link or my livejournal. My username on livejournal is darkshadow(underscore)23. QuickEdit won't let me use underscores . . .  
  
Again, sorry for any spelling mistakes . . .V 7-10 reviews to continue. 


	16. Entry 15: Needles

Another random chapter idea I got this idea at 10:03pm when watching a show for about 3 minutes . . . and the weirdest thing is, it has nothing to do with the show Oo; Now, on to answering reviews:

KuramaandHiei4ever: Thanks!!! This is the next update so I hope you enjoy it )

Evil-Rubber Duck: Fear my insane story! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is why the word 'Insanities' is in the story title . . .! I AM SO SMART!

Random Person number 3: Yes, my sister is okay now Thanks for your concern!

TrekieGreenieShannaraElfOFME: Yes, the poor kittens! They are treated like snowballs (

Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru: I understand, I'm a busy person too P I'm not reposting all the chapters at once . . . I probably won't even update that story anymore . . .

vaporeon13204: I think I answered this in LJ for you, but just in case other people were curious: Egyptians worshipped cats and Yami and Bakura are Egyptian. The reason they're scared of cats because they're spirits and Egyptians believed that cats were the guardians of the Underworld so Bakura and Yami were scared that the cats will yank their souls to the Underworld )

RainOwl: Yes, encourage them to chuck more kitties at them! )

Life's Light/animeangel: Yes, the poor, poor kitties . . . Technically it's just that the darned QuickEdit thing that can't support some of the symbols . . . Haha, it's just that all the dubbers keep making some people British so . . . yeah . . .

kls: Hmmm . . . probably not, but since some of the things in the past (of my story) comes back and haunt them, there MAY be some more things about paper balls containing toxic chemicals!

Funky Egyptian: Thanks! I'm not sure I'm going to put SET back up . . . I'm so darned busy . . .Maybe in Summer Vacation, haha

Goddess-Of-Anime: O.O is that review or a random little mini-fic??

Lanane: Everything to me is spur of the moment! I have a short attention span . . . that's why my memory stinks! DON'T YOU DARE MOLEST MY PICKLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wait, that sounded wrong! O.O

Lego Vasavouchi: Haha, thanks for reading and reviewing at such a time P

Game and watch Forever: Yes, that bathroom scene was specifically made just so you won't ever want to go to the bathroom again! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!!! Pencil Day is celebrated in Canada nods because I am the new queen! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! PENCILS FOR ALL!!! -Starts chucking sharp pencils at a crowd of people and they all get stabbed and dies- Oo;

Laura: I think you spelt everything right . . . but if you didn't who would want beans anyways!

purple-dragon-123: It's always funny unless you're the one getting hurt, haha. WELL YOU DON'T HAVE TO WAIT A SECOND LONGER! HERE IS DA NEXT CHAPTER YO!

liss-chan: I haven't eaten breakfast yet! -Wants noodles and pie- I'm sacrificing my breakfast for this ;;

Queen Insanity: Did you really fall out of your chair OO;

RVG: -Looks at all of your stories- The chapters are about the same length! My chapters aren't short -sniffs dramatically-

Yukino: Here's the new chapter! XD

Laura: Don't worry! No kittens were hurt in the making of the last chapter ) YOU ARE THE 200th REVIEWER!!!! (I think!) So this chapter is dedicated to you!

Flaring Emerald: I'm updating as I type!!!

AnimeAngel90: Glad to hear it

I just watched the last episode of Yu-Gi-Oh! IT WAS SO SAD!!!!!!! -Cries an ocean and drowns in it- So I guess this chapter is dedicated to it too? Yeah . . . I'm just going to write the story now . . .

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The Pharaoh and I have been hiding in the woods for the past 3 weeks . . . eating nothing but leaves from trees and colorful mushrooms found on random places on the ground . . .

"You DO realize you're talking out loud right?"

DAMMIT! WHY CAN'T I THINK IN MY HEAD!!!!

"Probably because it's filled with such thick smog of stupidity, your thoughts are forced out."

"SILENCE YOU FOOL!!!!!!!!!!"

"Fool? Who's the guy that can't even think?! Who's the guy who said that we've been out here for 3 weeks when it's only been an hour?!?!?!?" The Pharaoh screams.

" . . . Well just you wait! I've been living by myself back in Egypt since I was just a kid!"

"Then why the heck are you eating poisonous mushrooms?" The idiot Pharaoh asks.

"Didn't you know? Colorful things are ALWAYS edible and healthy!" I reply chewing on my delicious treats.

The Pharaoh just snarls as we walk further into the woods.

I follow him to annoy him of course. "You're never going to get out of here, Pharaoh!" I holler.

"You won't either you know -.-; and don't holler! I'm right in front of you!"

"Hmpf. Are you sure you don't want any of my colorful dinner?" I say, waving a purple one at him teasingly.

"Ewww . . . No way, I'll find my own NON-poisonous food thank you very much -.-;" The Pharaoh replies and keeps on walking.

I snort, "There's no way you'll find anything non-colorful here, Pharaoh! It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack! HAH!" I learnt that needle remark from Ryou, he said that it'll be impossible to find a brain cell with knowledge in it because my head is filled with too much paper balls containing toxic chemicals or something.

"Hey look! I found a needle in this haystack!" The Pharaoh waves his hand in the air and in his hand . . . is a needle?! And where did he find that haystack that he's standing next too?

Before I can ask that question out loud - "You're thinking out loud again Tomb Robber . . ." A weird guy pops out of the bushes!

"HOLY &$#())))&$#!!!!! You found the needle! I can finally go home and eat!" He starts to sob dramatically.

The Pharaoh and I have sweat drops on the back of our heads while he kisses the Pharaoh's feet.

"This is strangely familiar . . . and disturbing . . ." The Pharaoh says uncomfortably. Heck, the weird guy is drooling all over his shoes!

"Dammit! Yugi's going to kill me!" The Pharaoh says. "MY BEAUTIFUL SHOES!"

"Uh, why do you think we're out here in the first place?!?!?" I say, twitching.

" . . . "

"Wonderful response Pharaoh -.-;"

"Thank you! )"

I'm surrounded my idiots! "I heard that!" The Pharaoh says, glaring.

"ANYWAYS." The Pharaoh says. "Do you know how the heck to get out of these woods?"

The guy pauses from drooling everywhere and replies, "Well, yeah of course! I've been living here for six years!" He jumps up into a proud stance.

My left eyebrow twitches. "Why in the heavens would you stay in this place for six freakin' years?!?!!?"

"Because my friends said that you can't find a needle in a haystack so I tried to prove them wrong by training the great art of 'Needle Finding' in these woods."

"And you have never found one?"

"Nope."

"And the last six years was a complete waste of time?"

"Yah."

"Well . . . I proved your friends wrong and found this needle so . . . you can get us out of here right?"

"Erm . . . sure )"

"-.-;"

"Maybe we can call someone to get us out instead! Does any of you have a cell?" The guy asks.

"I DO!" The Pharaoh begins to sob. "Every night I sleep on the cold hard floor surrounded by metal bars!" The stupid Pharaoh falls to the ground dramatically and sobs even more.

"Uh, I meant a cell PHONE . . ." The guy says.

"?" We both stare at the strange person. I stare at him in a proud regal pose while a Pharaoh has snot dripping out of his –

"I DO **NOT **HAVE SNOT DRIPPING OUT OF ANY PARTS OF MY BODY DAMN YOU!!!!"

DAMMIT!

"You know . . . like a cell phone . . ." The guy says, making strange hand gestures.

"I KNOW WHAT A 'PHONE' IS!!!! If it wasn't for that 'phone' Mr. Motou, Yugi's grandfather, would've been even more dead!"

"What do you mean by, 'even _more dead_?!??!!?!?!?!?!'" I say.

"Oh, didn't you know? I accidentally started a fire, and Mr. Motou freaked out because of that. Probably gave him a heart attack or something. )"

"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT SO CALMLY??!?!?"

"How am I supposed to say it?" The Pharaoh asks all confused like.

"And you wonder why Yugi wants to kill you!" I yell back at him.

"Hey! Who's the guy that tried to kill Ryou with giant birds?!?!?!"

"THAT WAS A PRESENT!"

"Uh . . . I think . . . I'll leave now . . ." The weird needle guy runs off screaming.

"Must have just noticed your face," The Pharaoh says.

"SHUDDUP!"

"Wow, you didn't even deny it this time!" The Pharaoh grins.

"I SAID, SHUDDUP!"

"HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII BBBBBBBAAAAAAAKKKKKKKUUUUUUURRRRAAAAA!!!"

"MARIK?!?!?!?!"

-

OMG!!!!!111!!11SHIFT1!!!111!!! IT'S LIKE, A CLIFFHANGER!!! XD Well, actually it's not much of a cliffhanger . . . I'M SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN LIKE, FOUR MONTHS! All my reviewers probably left already or something P

Anyways, about No Sanity Allowed. I won't be updating that anymore. I have other things to do . . . I'm sorry! I'll continue updating this story slowly . . . or do you want short but fast updated chapters? ;

/ Please review, despite my slow updating skills?


	17. Entry 16: Dresses

The sun must be rising from the west today, because I'M UPDATING! I've only got a vague idea of what I'm going to write (like usual) so . . . I'm going to improvise (like usual). I should totally get an A in improvising in Drama with all this improvising I'm doing XD Now, let's answer some reviews! Yay!

Funky Egyptian: I don't know what he's doing in the woods either. It's just that it'll be kind of boring is Bakura and Yami just wander aimlessly in the wood being chased by cute fluffy kittens XD

Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru: Yeah, something exciting should happen that should change everything . . . okay then, BAKURA DIES! MUHAHAHAHAAHAHA! And Yami takes over the story! He's tired of just having a one chapter special! Nah . . . let's not do that!

Life's Light/animeangel: It's discrimination of non-letters! REBEL YOU SYMBOLS! FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHTS! YAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

Evil-Rubber Duck: I remember that episode! Family Guy is so demented XD

snake-sister12: I don't come up with stuff! I improvise! MUHAHAHAA! I'm that random . . .

RainOwl: I Know! I will try and write as much as possible n.n

Animefangirl11: I wish my teachers would say that to be, hahaha! I am getting better at writing stories though . . . NO THANKS TO MY ENGLISH TEACHER! (I hate her to death.)

Goddess-Of-Anime: Pats you on the head It's alright if you're crazy . . . I mean, no, you're not crazy! And if you are it isn't my fault innocent smile. Cliff Hangers are awesome, dude.

Shadowyoukokitsune: It's a random fic, things aren't supposed to make sense, haha.

Fairy-Of-Ame: You are the 250th reviewer! GO YOU!

Thanks to others who reviewed: Kiba's Mate, KuramaandHieiever, Random Person number 3, I forgot..., vaporeon13204, Ceribi Motou, YukariHitomi, purple-dragon-123, nOnymOus-19, Lego Vasavouchi, and dreamcloud516, and anyone else I might have forgotten!

Dude: Hi, I'm Dude. Darkshadow, that idiot, forgot what happened last chapter. So she's off to re-read it. What a freaking idiot! SHE WROTE THE STORY HOW CAN SHE FORGET IT! She's going to fail her socials test for sure. Anyways, while she's going I'm going to entertain you by juggling! Takes out 3 rubber balls and started to juggle them LALALALALALALALALALALALALALAA!

O.O;;; Uh . . . I'm back and . . . please ignore Dude over there . . .

Dude: LALALALALALALALALALAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! IT'S CHEMISTRY BABY!

? Please, just . . . just read the story . . .

Dude: LAHAAHHAAHHAHAAAALLALALLALAAAAAALLLLLIIIIIIIAAAAAHHHH!

Oh, yeah. One last thing: All references are from the Japanese version of Yu-Gi-Oh! So, don't go saying, "WTF? I thought the Pharaoh was from five thousand years ago!"

* * *

"Marik? What do you think you're doing here? If you want to take over the world, I SHALL DEFEAT YOU!" The idiotic Pharaoh gets in some heroic stance. One hand is on his hip, which the other hand pointed at the sky and his head thrown up.

"Uh, Pharaoh? Marik IS OVER THERE," I say, pointing to our left.

"What? Then what's that?" he says in his stupid little way.

"THAT IS A BUSH."

"Wow, it looks an awful lot like Marik."

I stand next to the Pharaoh for a closer look. "Wow, you're right . . . Why is this bush sculpture of Marik wearing a dress?"

"I don't know, but it makes him look pretty n.n"

I slowly back away from the Pharaoh. "You wear dresses to don't you?'

"YOU CAN NOT PROVE THAT!" The Pharaoh throws himself to the ground and starts twitching.

"Bakura! What's that guy doing?"

"I think the Pharaoh is trying the erase his memories . . . ah, that's how he did it three thousand years ago -.-;"

The Pharaoh jumps up. "What do you mean 'that guy' you fiend!" The Pharaoh gets in his heroic stance again, but this time he's facing the right way.

"Who are you?" Marik asks.

"What? How can you possibly forget me! YOU TRIED TO KILL ME MANY TIMES!"

". . . ."

"You know . . . you thought I killed you father or something . . .?"

". . . ?"

"You spent over half your life protecting my tomb!"

"Are you sure you have the right person?"

"OH MY FREAKING LORD! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOUR HEAD?"

"Bakura, this weirdo is scaring me . . ."

The Pharaoh starts having spasms again.

"Anyways . . . Marik, why is there a bush cut out to look like you!"

"Oh I made it! n.n" Marik climbs down the tree he was sitting on and onto the ground.

"WHY WOULD YOU MAKE SOMETHING LIKE THAT!"

"I wanted to see what I would look like in a dress. Don't I look pretty?"

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOUR HEAD?"

"Wow, that's the second time someone has asked me that!"

I decided to give Marik a little test. "Marik, do you like GIRLS?"

"Yup!"

"Oh good, because I thought you were -"

"They look pretty in dresses! n.n"

" . . . I do not know how to respond to that . . ."

"I also like GRILLS! They GRILL things with GRILLS!"

"That's very . . . nice . . . Marik . . ."

"OOOOHHHHH! I remember you now!" Marik says, pointing at the Pharaoh.

"YES! Finally! You probably recognized my beautiful -"

"I saw you at 'Flowers and Daisies!'"

"WHAT? NO! YOU CANNOT PROVE IT!" The Pharaoh screams.

"Uhhh . . . What's 'Flowers and Daisies'?" I ask.

"It's my . . ." Marik starts to say, but stops with a dramatic pause. "FAVORITE DRESS STORE!"

I didn't know what's more surprising. Marik yelling happily and proudly that he had a favorite DRESS store or the idiot Pharaoh GOING to a DRESS store.

The Pharaoh fell to the ground YET AGAIN, and started twitching. "Going to a dress store does not make you less of a man. I am a good, strong man. Going to a dress store does not make you less of a man. I am a good, strong man . . ."

The Pharaoh just kept repeating that over and over again.

"I also saw him go into a self help store and buy a 10 disc pack labeled 'YOU ARE A MAN," Marik said helpfully.

The weird-dress wearing Pharaoh slowly stands up after repeating his, 'I AM A MAN' phrases about a thousand times.

"Well then," he says, "Let us keep moving towards our DESTINY!" The annoying Pharaoh strikes another stupid ass pose.

"I would've never thought you would ever step foot into a store that sells stuff for women." I snicker.

"I THOUGHT NO ONE WOULD EVER KNOW!" The Pharaoh sobs.

"Other people shop there you know." I say.

"LIKE ME! " Marik smiles proudly.

"Why can only WOMEN of this day and age wear dresses? I used to wear a kilt in Egypt! YOU DID TOO THIEF!" he says pointing at me accusingly.

"IT WAS A REALLY LONG SHIRT OKAY? AND I USED TO WEAR SHORTS TOO! IT WAS HOT IN EGYPT!"

"Now Bakura wears HOT PANTS! YAHH! HOT PANTS!" Marik starts FROLICKING around a tree.

"ANYWAYS, Pharaoh. If you like wearing dresses so much, go to Scotland. They wear kilts there."

"THAT IS AN EXCELLENT IDEA, SLAVE. LET US GO TO SCOTLAND AN FROLICK IN OUR B-E-A-U-TAFUL KILTS WITH HONOUR."

"!" Was the expression on my face.

"Is Nova Scotia called 'New Scotland' in some language?"

The Pharaoh and I stare at him like he's a complete weirdo.

"What? I WANNA KNOW!"

Suddenly, the Pharaoh uses his mystical power of "Memory Loss" to ignore Marik by saying, "WHICH WAY IS SCOTLAD? I MUST PURSUE MY DREAM OF WEARING PRETTY THINGS AND STILL BE A MAN, LIKE IN EGYPT!"

"You can only wear kilts, NO 'PRETTY THINGS'." I'm still freaked out about him being a cross-dresser. I don't know why I'm helping his sorry ass.

" . . . OH WELL. I can live with just wearing a kilt. But soon, I shall become PHARAOH once again and change the ways! MUHHOHOHOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOO!"

"The correct insane laughter is as followed, 'MUHHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAAHAA!'" Marik states as I stare at him with wide eyes.

"Screaming, 'MUHHOHOHOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOO!' at the top of your lungs makes you sound like Santa Claus being convicted of breeding reindeer with light bulbs to create Rudolphs."

"That's very . . . interesting . . . Marik . . . ." I say.

The Pharaoh just stares at Marik, because Marik's a lunatic.

* * *

OH MY GOSH. I ate SALSA chips today. At first it tasted funny, but after awhile (yes, I continued to eat it, even though it tasted funny, ha-ha. I'm an idiot . . . a hungry idiot . . .) it tasted okay! GO BUY LAYS SALSA CHIPS! THEY'RE NEW! I'm advertising . . . I should get paid XD

NOTES:

'Flowers and Daisies' does not exist. I just randomly thought of it O.o; And if it does exist THEN THAT IS VERY COOL. Tell me where it is and I'll go there and say, "I'VE HEARD OF THIS SHOP FROM A VVVVVVVVIIIIIIISSSSSIIIIIOOOONNN! OOOOOOooooOOOOoooooOOOO!"

I do not know what hot pants are OO. I also do not know what 'frolicking' means. I just like to use words that I do not know the meaning of )

Seriously, is Nova Scotia called New Scotland in some language?

Yeah this chapter is kind of short . . . but it's either its short and updated or long and not updated for another year ;

I have a vague idea of what to write next . . .

Please review!


	18. Entry 17: Drugs

I haven't updated in a long time. But you all probably already knew that. Sorry. No ideas. Here are the review replies.

Dark Magician Girl Hikaru: Crap, you're right. I need to make him completely insane again. He will be.

purple-dragon-123: Yami: THEY ARE **KILTS**.

dreamcloud516: He used his nail clipper. Marik's got skillz.

Ceribi Motou: Dude, you should totally be my English teacher. 'Cause my English teacher is a fat air of fart and fat airs of fart can't teach English.

Thanks to these other people. Who did that thing that I'm thanking them for. Thanks.

Amber-kun, Animefangirl11, Random Person number 3, shadowyoukokitsune, Evil-Rubber Duck, snake-sister12, lostnconfused114, Sour Schuyler, Goddess-Of-Anime, RainOwl, Cyana-Goddess-of-Witchcraft, Life's Light, Melody of live

* * *

"Hey." The Pharaoh says. 

"What do you want, you . . . you . . . lousy . . . paper . . . roof . . ."

"What kind of a stupid insult is that? O.O"

"Well . . . if it rains . . . then . . . YOU WILL GET WET BECAUSE YOU ARE A PAPER ROOF."

". . . Right . . . ANYWAYS. It's been a couple of days since we last saw Yugi and Ryou, so . . . you know . . . maybe we should be heading back to our homes."

It's been almost 2 days since we were INHUMANLY attacked by Ryou and the Pharaoh's Slave. And I all I've eaten since then was the colorful assortment of mushrooms.

"Are you insane? If I go back to Ryou's house . . . err . . . I mean MY house where Ryou lives, then he'll pelt me with those . . . those . . . FLUFFY ANIMALS OF DOOM." I scream.

"That might not be the case, since Yugi and Ryou have suffered side effects from their drugs."

"O.O DRUGS? Ryou doesn't have any drugs! Trust me, I checked . . . err . . . for HIS safety of course . . ."

"You are such an idiot, thief freak, haven't you ever notice the pills they take by the bottle?"

"I thought they were 'candy'." I say.

"If you ever bothered to learn how to read this modern day language, you would know that the labels say, 'DRUGS MEANT TO MAKE THE DRUGGIE HAVE A FREAKISHLY SHORT ATTENTION SPAN'. . ."

"Hey did you just call me, 'thief freak'?"

" . . . And the weirdest thing is that the drugs are made by a company called, '4KIDS' . . ."

"I have an idea!" I say excitedly.

"Did hell freeze over again?"

". . . What?"

"You know . . . when people say something that's impossible then they say the phrase, 'Yeah, right, when hell freezes over'," The Pharaoh explains.

". . ."

"Never mind -.-; what's your brilliant idea?" The Pharaoh asks.

"Ah, I see that you have finally realized that I am much, much more superior than you and that I should-"

"JUST TELL ME YOUR STUPID IDEA."

"FINE. LET'S GO TO MARIK'S HOUSE," I say very, very loudly.

"You want me to go to the house of THAT GUY?" The Pharaoh points to Marik, who is dancing.

"WHO NEEDS ANTS IN YOUR PANTS WHEN YOU'VE GOT A SHAKIN' DANCE MOVE LIKE MINE!"

"Is that a problem?"

"He's taking off his pants again," The Pharaoh turns away from Marik.

"HOLY CRAP, THERE _ARE_ ANTS IN MY PANTS! GET THEM OFF! HELP ME! DEAR BATTERY! HOLY MACARONI!" Marik starts jumping around trying to rip his pants off.

"Well, look on the bright side, I think his dancing is much, much better," I tell the Pharaoh.

The Pharaoh turns back around and we both watch Marik run around screaming and trying to pull his pants off, which he can't since he has to take off his belt first.

* * *

We're finally at Marik's house. We managed to come after the Pharaoh got tired of watching Marik dance. Marik finally discovered that there weren't ants in his pants and the thing moving inside his pants was actually just the _inside _of his pants and it was only moving because he was dancing. He's really stupid. I have proof, as soon as we were in his house . . .

"OH HOLY BATTERY, I THANK YOU FOR YOUR GREATNESS. I SHALL SERVE YOUJ FOREVER. I AM ALSO VERY GRATIFIED FOR YOU SAVING ME FROM THOSE STUPID ANTS THAT WERE IN MY PANTS!"

". . . your god is a . . . battery!" The Pharaoh, being the Pharaoh, is shocked by this.

"Yup! And as long as you're living under my roof, you must show respect for my AA battery )"

". . . Right . . ."

Suddenly, the door opens and Marik's sister comes in. I think her name was 'I'. Marik calls her 'Isis', though, because 'sis' is short for 'sister'.

"Marik, I bought the groceries since you wanted, I'll make that -" I stops in the middle of her sentence.

"Marik, why are the two freaks here?"

"Hey! I'm not a freak! I'm PHARAOH!" the stupid-ass Pharaoh gets into an idiotic stance and points a finger at the ceiling.

"You killed Yugi's couch and gave his grandfather brain damage."

"THAT COUCH WAS PLANNING TO ASSASSINATE ME!"

"Right . . . I think you should both leave," I looks at me and the Pharaoh. She talks in third person, huh?

"And stop calling me 'I'. My name is Isis. Marik does not call me 'Isis' because I am his sister, it's just my name."

I'm thinking out loud again!

"Marik, I'm going to live in the replica of the 'Mayflower' ship until they leave. Bye," Marik's sister says. She drops the bags of . . . stuff and walks to the . . . wooden thing that moves and leaves. LIKE A TREE. You know. They have leaves. And Isis just LEFT. Wait a minute . . . OH. AND DOORS ARE MADE OF LEAVES. I mean trees.

"YAY! Isis bought food for Mr. Pinkerdinysnipercolash!" Marik picks up the bag of stuff and start prancing around.

"Mister _what_?" The Pharaoh exclaims

"I'll show you!"

* * *

"KAIBA? YOU LIVE IN MARIK'S ATTIC?" The Pharaoh starts freaking out and jumping around like them frogs.

That dude with the . . . nose . . . ignores the Pharaoh and takes the bags of stuff from Marik. "What? No cheese!"

"ISIS BOUGHT IT," Marik says loudly. Just in case he doesn't hear, since, you know, all he has is a nose.

Nose-guy and Marik starts arguing. I'm hungry since all I've been eating for the past few days were wild mushrooms, so I start eating that stuff inside the bags.

"But Kaiba, you're rich! Why are you living in Marik's attic!" The Pharaoh asks.

"THE 'MAYFLOWER' IS MADE OF JELLY GODDAMMIT," Super-nose says.

"THE GREAT LORD BATTERY IS HERE?" Marik runs around worshipping random objects. "Oh great lord! Are you possessing this poisionus scorpion that shouldn't be able to exist in this part of the world which is somewhere I don't know because I don't know where scorpions can't live in?" Marik starts kissing the scorpions feet . . . err, claws? Whatever scorpions have?

"Why are you ignoring me, Kaiba? I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL!" The Pharaoh starts sobbing in the corner.

Suddenly some funky kid comes in and says, "My brother's only ignoring you because he doesn't believe in that spiritual, supernatural stuff. He can totally see you but he's just pretending not to."

"Stop talking to an EMPTY SPACE, Mokuba. Where NO ONE is there. Especially not a Pharaoh that looks like Yugi who existed 3000 or 5000 years ago. I don't know if it's 3000 or 5000 because the people who turned us English keep switching it around," Nose-man says.

"DUDE, YOUR WALL IS AWESOME," I stroke the beautiful, beautiful wall.

"Bakura, I'm so glad that you have finally found your true love!" Marik congratulates me.

I start kissing my beautiful new companion.

The Pharaoh says, "Oh crap. Eating poisonous mushrooms for two days and suddenly eating normal food must have made some sort of a chemical reaction that -"

"I now pronounce you husband, and wall. You may now kiss the wall!" Marik announces. I'm so glad that I got my favorite radio to marry us (the wall and I).

I start kissing my new wall. We will make wonderful children.

"HOLY SHIT. STOP MAKING OUT WITH THE DAMN WALL," I hear the Pharaoh say.

"STOP RUINING MY LIFE! MY WALL ONLY LOVES ME! GO FIND YOUR OWN WALL!" I hug my wall.

"You really need a girlfriend."

"How can you say that? In front of my wall, even! I JUST GOT MARRIED, YOU IDIOT."

"WHERE THE BATTERY IS MY CHEESE?"

"DON'T USE THE LORD'S NAME IN VAIN!"

"I'm Mokuba."

"I LLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVEEEEEEEE YOU WALLY!"

"You named your wall, Wally!"

"That's her nickname )"

"A battery is not a freaking god! THERE IS NO GOD! NOTHING EXISTS! ONLY I EXIST! AND CHEESE!"

"What about me, Mokuba?"

"YOU SUCK."

"I, Mokuba, am sad."

"Mickey Mouse and Mini Mouse are related."

"That is _SO_ not true!"

"Then why do they have the same last names?"

"They got married!"

"They _SO_ did not get married."

"Then . . . it's a coincidence."

"Your mismatched socks are a coincidence."

"LEAVE MICKEY, MINI, AND MY SOCKS ALONE."

* * *

Goofy is so awesome. I have no idea where that Mickey Mouse crap came from but Mini looks like Mickey. Don't ask who were having that conversation, I don't know either. 

I'm already working on the next chapter. Hopefully it'll be up in LESS than 4 months, hahahaha . . . Reviews make me happy. Don't turn me into an emo-kid.


	19. Entry 18: Argument

Wow, I'm updating pretty soon, eh?

Review Replies:

blah: I don't know what happened to Lloyd either. You'll have to ask him/it yourself sometime

Evil-Rubber Duck: How could Mickey do that? CROSSBREEDING!

Random Person number 3: Please read 'blah''s review reply above nn. You will be very happy to hear that Joey is in this chapter nn

Ceribi Motou: 3000 year old spirits can have a change of heart very quickly, don't you agree?

TrekieGreenieShannaraElfOfME: I think I've met Emo-Boy in a spiritual vision XD

purple-dragon-123: I'm afraid that your questions may never be answered T.T

shadowyoukokitsune: YOU'RE THE 300TH REVIEWER! THAT MEANS YOU ARE AWESOME. GO YOU.

And thanks to others who reviewed: vaporeon13204, Dark Magician Girl Hikaru, Animefangirl11 and Shiroikami

* * *

"Friends are very important. You must do everything for your friends. You should shot a pregnant cat for your friends, you should maul a homeless person with cancer for your friends, you should kick your mom in the ass for your friends, you should-" says this girl, who's not Isis, or that other girl, which makes her that girl.

"Tea, what the hell are you doing here!" The Pharaoh asks.

"This story lacks females, therefore, I am here," That girl who is not Isis or that other girl says. She slowly raises her arms up in the air and looks around.

"WOMAN, MAKE ME MY WHIPPED CREAM," the guy with the nose says.

"I thought it was cheese," goes the guy that lives in this house with a name that is not Bakura. Because Bakura is me. GO ME! Bakura.

"SHUT UP AND GO KISSA DAMNED WALL."

"WALLY IS MINE. SCREW YOU NOSE MAN."

"BACK OFF WALL HUGGER."

"Why can you see him and not me? HE'S A SPIRIT TOO!"

"SHUT UP PHARAOH. I'M _TRYING_ TO IGNORE YOU HERE."

"HAH! YOU _CAN _SEE ME!"

"SOMEONE TURN THE DAMNED CAPS LOCK OFF, I'M GOING DEAF."

". . . WAT DA FUNK!" I scream.

"That was spelt incorrectly," says little kid with the huge-ass hair.

"How would you know? I SAID it I didn't SPELL it."

"Actually you did," says annoying stupid kid who corrects grammar and spelling.

"But I can't spell! I'M A DUMBASS."

"Mokuba, STOP TALKING TO THE AIR."

"I'm Mokuba."

"I _think_ we all know that, moron!" That girl says.

"I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR FRIEND!" The funky kid runs crying through a door leaving a funky-kid-shaped hole in the door.

"Bakura, your wall is male," Marik points to the corner.

"OH DEAR GOD. YOU LIED TO ME. SCREW YOU WALL! I WANT A FREAKING DIVORCE!"

"IT'S BATTERY, GODDAMMIT!" Marik screams.

Everyone stops what they're doing/yelling and looks at Marik. I REMEMBERED HIS NAME NOW. I AM AWESOME. GO ME, BAKURA.

"What?" Marik asks.

"You just said, '**GOD**DAMMIT,'" the Pharaoh answers.

"You just said, '**GOD**DAMMIT,'" the guy with the nose answers.

"Uuuhhh, yeah Kaiba, I just told him that . . ." The Pharaoh says to Mr. I-have-a-nose-therefore-I-think-I'm-all-that.

Nose-man says nothing.

"YOU CANNOT PROVE ANYTHING!" Marik runs to the door and doesn't leave a hole because he can magically shapshift into funky little kids as he runs through doors with funky kid shaped holes in them.

"Let's all sing songs about killing innocent creatures and using friends as an excuse!"

"SHUT UP YOU STUPID PERSON, YOU! I'M _TRYING_ TO COPE OVER MY DIVORCE HERE," I chuck a funky kid shaped door at that girl who isn't Isis or that other girl.

"Dat wasain't kool, dude. Ya shouldain't've hit Tea, man," babbles some weird guy that can't speak who jumped down from some random shelf.

"I have no idea what you just said," I told Mr. . . . I can't think of a good nickname.

"Dat'z wat evreeun saiz," and the guy that can't speak walks into the sunset.

"That's weird, why can we suddenly see the sunset in the attic!" the Pharaoh asks.

"That's weird, why can we suddenly see the sunset in the attic!" the Nose guy asks.

"DAMMIT, KAIBA."

"I HATE YOU, WALL. HOW CAN WE MAKE CHILDREN IF YOU'RE MALE? I will NEVER adopt!" I sob in the space where the door used to be.

"Oh crap, this door you chuck at me is stuck on the side of my head!"

"BAKURA, DID YOU TEAR DOWN THIS WALL! Is that why we can see the freaking sunset?" The Pharaoh's freaking yelling again. "BAKURA. BAKURA! ANSWER ME DAMN YOU ALL!"

"WHO THE HELL IS BAKURA?"

"YOU ARE, YOU FREAKING IDIOT MORON!"

"AT LEAST I'M BAKURA!"

"WHAT THE BLOODLY HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!"

"I want my cheese! My beautiful, beautiful cheese!" The dude starts sobbing in the corner.

"Yes, I killed Wally, but he deserved it! HE LIED TO ME THE VERY MOMEMT WE MET!"

"You mean 10 minutes ago?"

"It was the worst 10 minutes of my life! I WAS LIVING A LIE!"

"DAMN IT MARIK, I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS UNTIL YOU GIVE ME SOME DAMN CHEESE," screams the Nose.

He runs down the stairs looking for Marik and for the lack of having anything better to do, everyone follows him.

"STAND BACK KAIBA, I KNOW KARAOKE!" Marik screams and gets into a weird little stance.

The Pharaoh speaks up, "uh, don't you mean 'karate'?"

Suddenly a black ice cream cone drops down from the ceiling and on to Marik's hand.

"LOVE IS BLIND. LOVE IS KIND. LOVE IS . . . LLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVEEEEE!" Marik sings into that ice cream cone that's painted black.

"Never mind . . ." the Pharaoh mutters.

"I want CHEESE. Give me the cheese or your battery gets it!" The guy with the Nose pulls a water gun that seemingly appeared out of no where (he probably got it from his nose) and points it at Marik's little alter.

"Who needs some dinky battery when you have me, MARIK THE KARAOKE KING!" Marik starts pulling random singing machine from his ceiling.

"This door jammed in my head is THE FRIENDSHIP DOOR! Along with THE FRIENDSHIP DOOR, I, Tea, WILL SAVE MY FRIENDS!" The girl starts running around the room going, "WWWWWHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOSSSSSHHHHH! FRIENDSHIP DOOR POWER!"

"Hey, hey, hey, I'M supposed to be the one that give a million friendship speeches! I'M THE MAIN CHARACTER!" The Pharaoh triesto un-jam the girl's head.

"But everyone hates me more!"

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON A DEAD PHARAOH," the Nose yells.

"I'm in high school! Who else am I supposed to have a crush on?" The girl kicks the Pharaoh in the gut and runs off into the sunset laughing insanely and screaming, "FRIENDSHIP DOOR POWER!"

"Bakura, DID YOU KILL THIS WALL TOO!"

"What do you care? You don't live here! THAT WALL WAS WALLY'S EX GIRLFRIEND! Can you believe it? They were still living together!" I go to the corner and sob.

"JINGLE BELLS, BATMAN SMELLS, ROBIN LAID AN EGG!" Marik starts karaoke-ing.

"Don't make fun of Batman you funk dude man!" The funky kid that ran through the door is back. AND HE'S KICKING ASS.

"IT BURNS! IT BURNS!" Marik screams in pain.

"TAKE THAT MR. CUDDLES! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!" The funky kid continues to kick the Marik's teddy bear's booty.

"NNNNOOO! Anything but Mr. Cuddles!" Marik runs to the corner and sobs next to me.

"Get your own corner!" I shove the crying Marik across the room and he does a little flip and lands perfectly in another corner with sobbing the whole time.

Marik starts to sing, "TTTTHHHHHEEEEEEEE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD IS-" Unfortunately Marik had to stop singing due to the fact the Nose sprayed the ice cream cone with his water gun.

"I'm melting! I'm melting!"

"OH MY GOSH, THE ICE CREAM IS TALKING," I scream.

"Uh . . . no, that's just Marik impersonating his microphone . . . that's not ice cream at all . . ." Mr. Know-it-all-Pharaoh says.

"Gee Bakura, you need to think up better insulting nicknames! GU, GU, GU!" the carpet laughs.

"OH DEAR LORD. A TALKING CARPET."

"I'm going back to believing in the mystical powers of the BATTERY!" Marik throws on a cape that came out of no where and starts to jump off high things, even though that has nothing to do with his previous sentence.

The funky kid stops beating up the innocent teddy bear and asks, "Does the carpet from Aladdin talk?"

"NO ONE GIVES A SHIT, MOKUBA."

"Why would you say that big brother?" The kid starts to tear up.

"WHY WOULD THE WORLD JUST GIVE ME SOME DAMNED CHEESE?" Nose-man joins me in the crying corner.

* * *

Yeah, I messed up Joey's accent on purpose. I like the (improper) word, 'ain't' for some odd reason.

So, will Bakura and his wall ever make up? (Even though the wall has turned into dust?) Will Kaiba ever use one of his many brain cells to think up a way to go to the supermarket to actually go buy some cheese by himself? Will Mokuba ever stop beating up Mr. Cuddles? WILL THE TALKING CARPET EVER SAVE POOR JOEY FROM THE NORTH DAKOTIAN SNOWMEN?

Find out next time, on Dragon Ball Z!

. . . Wait a minute . . .


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